• Category Archives Soul

  • Working with Qualities of Soul: Other

    Posted on by AndrewMichaelChallies 2 Comments

    This concept of otherness didn’t seem to be present yesterday. One idea I was pondering was needing to honour this blogging process at the end of the day rather than the beginning. The idea that I’m spending half the day working on the blog of the previous day shortens the time being able to experience the intention of the current day.

    This may require being more conscious of and then journaling my dreams.  Dreams haven’t been embedding themselves in my awareness lately. The ones that are the most vivid I tend to remember. Then there are the smaller dreams that make a sort of cameo performance – I remember them in the morning but have forgotten them by the end of the day. I read somewhere that dreams are the psyche’s way of working with what is unresolved within us. I guess the vivid dreams are the more interesting things not resolved while the ‘cameo’ dreams are perhaps less interesting. Both can be equally important to the unfolding of the soul journey.

    Having said that I do remember a dream from early this morning. I encountered a man, a friend I worked with over 15 years ago. As well as being a chef he also had a great mind too and could quote Shakespeare and many other poets. He was a example for me that though a chef and really focused in the physical, work wise my soul could also be further nurtured through other arts as well. I hadn’t been in contact with him for a few years though I was aware that he had Parkinson’s disease. In early January I was informed that he had passed away late last year a shell of his former self through his struggle with the disease. I experienced him in my dream as being younger than I remember him. Vibrant, brilliant, gentle, smiling. Still with that beard that he seemed to have forever though I only knew him for a few years.

    Beards seem to have become a thread in my life. In the face of the dislike of beards from family and friends I have persisted with my beard. I shave it right back when it begins to look unruly and let it grow right back again. I tell people I’ve just become lazy. Who knows it may be more than that. I know I’m fascinated by the Greek God Oceanus who is depicted with a beautiful beard. I encountered him when I took a shamanic journey, a guided interactive meditation, to meet my daimon. I felt his gentle and playful nature.

    At times thought to be the origin of all things, this is the god of the backward-flowing river Ocean, which bounds the earth and from which all rivers flow and every sea, and all the springs and wells.

    Oceanus
    Oceanus

    I’m fascinated by the description of the backward-flowing river. Is it about always returning to our source? Acknowledging that at times the soul journey requires a backward step? Is it about feeling the energy of Earth flowing upwards through our bodies, after all Gaia was the mother of Oceanus and so intimately connected to him.

    He always seems to have a troubled, yet gentle air about him in images. That gentle quality is indicated by his refusing to enter the conspiracy of his siblings to destroy his father Uranus. There is compassion in his nature. I feel that gentle but troubledness within myself.

    I mentioned the daimon in The Soul Part 2 in conjunction with this sense of otherness. The deities of any of the pantheons, Greek, Roman, Asiatic, Norse, Celtic are all originally nature deities or have evolved from them. It is when I take time to be in nature and away from my urban existence that I feel the sense of this other that is also me. This other seems totally at peace with himself.

    Thomas Moore mentions something similar in his audio retreat Soul Life. He recounts a story by Mircea Eliade that when he experienced this “otherness that was also himself” there was a sense of profound happiness.

    Moore also mentions W.B. Yeats who felt he’d be fencing with this other back and forth, back and forth, neither one seeming to gain ascendancy. For me that begs the question – Is there a need for any ascendancy or is it the honouring of the process that is unfolding that finally allows this other to be at peace within the psyche?

    I return to not having this feeling of this otherness about me. I’m not sure whether that means that all is right with my world. Am I exactly where I need to be without needing my soul consciousness to fence with me or needing to inform my innerself that I’m essentially happy.

    I noticed when I was at work that there was a difference to the atmosphere of the place. Some of the staff there the previous day weren’t present. The sense of finding my feet was less and a sense of urgency had faded.  I still felt nervous and though there was less assistance at service time I managed ok, finishing earlier than I had on Saturday.

    I enjoyed connecting with these new people and to feel the energy of their personalities. It takes me back to the uniqueness of each person’s experience and how they contact the world. To see how they relate to each other, to listen to the banter that unfolds among them gives a sense that they’re enjoying what they’re doing and being together.

    Blessings

    Resources:

    Thomas Moore
    Soul Life:How to Nourish and Deepen your Everyday World. Available here
    Thomas Moore’s site:Care of the Soul

    Greek Myth: Oceanus

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  • Working with Qualities of Soul: Cyclical

    Posted on by AndrewMichaelChallies Comment

    Blogging is the way I begin my day. It has become a cycle. Honouring the events of the previous day using the blog as a journal. As I write I connect with insights to carry me forward. What I am feeling in that moment. What are the textures, the sensations that are urging me forward, following the cycle of personal evolution.

    Is this cycle only a single circle that I’m stuck on or is it a spiral, an ever upward evolution of my Soul. As I ponder this I return to the Hero’s Journey and the work of Carol Pearson who developed a system of 12 archetypes that assist the path of evolution for our soul.

    The journey evolves through 3 stages – the preparation, the initiation, and the return. Within those 3 stages there are 4 archetypes encountered as we assimilate the rememberings required to move to the next stage. The archetypes of preparation are the innocent, the orphan, the warrior, the caregiver. In the initiatory stage we have the seeker, lover, destroyer, and the creator. Finally on our return we are governed by the ruler, the magician, the sage and the fool.

    In her book Awakening the Heroes Within: 12 Archetypes to Help Us Find Ourselves and Transform the World she describes the path as a spiral. It may be informing different areas of our lives and in each area we may be in a different stage. Another complexity alongside those we spoke of yesterday. Our career may involve one Hero’s Journey and our relationships another.

    picture1a
    Spiral Path of the Hero's Journey

    As I was pondering this a few years ago I wondered what it would look like and came up with this rendering. It seemed as though this described both the entirety of a life and also different excursions within that life. What was named then as the Fool, Pearson now refers to as the Jester.

    And all this had to do with what yesterday? On the day of the cyclical, I cycled. Back to Bottle Lake Forest Park via the place where I am working my temping assignment so that I can get the lay of the land. After discussion with the Sous Chef it seemed pretty straight forward, with some more instruction today and there’ll be others around to assist. It’s been probably 12 years since I worked as a temp and at that time I had some mixed experiences from nurturing, to mundane, to almost absolute disaster. I guess there may be a demon to confront here. Have I evolved since that time? I was honest that my skills were rusty when it came to restaurant style fare and was assured by the chef that it was pretty basic and simple. Onwards.

    Onwards to the forest from there, and full of energy, the tyres were pumped and everything was running smoothly. I was aware of the place I came off last time I was out there and successfully negotiated that. I detoured from usual circuit to take in another track I hadn’t taken for a while. The forest had grown around it and it appeared totally different to how I’d experienced before. They seemed to have made some additions to the track that created extra challenges. I was so energized when I got to the end I turned around and took in some more of the trails. Magic. Again I’m reminded of the labyrinth as I consider the trails weaving through the forest.

    Labyrinths describe a circuitous route inward and in medieval times was used as a substitute for the pilgrimage to the Holy Land. It was also believed to be symbolic of the journey from Life to Death and may have been a calendar or astronomical device. My preference would be to consider it as symbolic. How do I want to be on that journey?

    The Labyrinth
    The Labyrinth

    For me I see life as working towards a defining moment that is symbolised by reaching the centre of the labyrinth.  We have collected many experiences along the way and have come to the centre. It’s from here that we turn outwards taking the path until we are completed by death. The turning outwards is about sharing the path of self knowledge with the wider community.

    Each of us walks our own internal labyrinth. Our mind. Our feelings. There is an almost never ending cycle of thought. And beyond that the universal cycle of time both linear and eternal. And even further still the Circle of Life. The Completeness of all manifestations of experience.

    Another of the symbols that represent this cyclical nature is the Ouroboros. This is depicted as a serpent devouring its own tail. It is nature in a constant cycle recreating itself anew through eternity. It is evolution.

    When I returned from the ride I was able to catch up my blog. I was a day behind from earlier in the week.

    Later I had to pick up some money that I was owed. I found it quite difficult to be positive about it. It seemed that it was all going to be gone in a instant. That it was just going to slip through my hands. I noticed a lot of frustration around that. I was still feeling that when i got home. Checked my account in case Winz had put some money in. No such luck. I feel now the downward spiral this created for me. It was only momentary and will pass.

    Overall it was a good day.

    Blessings

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  • Working with Qualities of the Soul: Madness

    Posted on by AndrewMichaelChallies Comment

    I had completed my blog for the day. It’s been taking two or three hours to get my blog to a point where it is in a shape for posting. So the day is almost half gone by the time I get the post up and then move into the rest of the day.

    Parts of the day, small parts are spent going round and round in my head – What’s happening here? Why am I not getting any offers of work? When am I going to get some money going into my account? When am I going to get a ring from the credit card people, the telecom people, the bank? I was honest with the companies I had outstanding debt with. I see what is most important in life. Shelter and food. Those are the two things that are in focus when my financial wellbeing wasn’t so well. Paying the rent. Putting food on the table. There has even been a week when paying the rent went out the window.

    The whole experience I’d describe as a madness. Why have I allowed this to happen? What is it that I am seeing within myself as I make this passage? I had a similar experience over the Xmas period 2007-2008 but I had some holiday pay to carry me through. There was uncertainty then, though nothing compared to this time. I consciously stopped that facility through my pay earlier in the year. What was I doing – saying to the universe show me the worst?

    If  I’m appearing mad to myself how are others experiencing me? Do they think I’m mad? I’ve noticed a sort of coolness in some. And I wonder about that. Others are supportive, being with me through the process.

    It has been interesting watching what has been going on inside of me as I notice the way my son has been tackling the same no work space. I notice my frustration as I sense he’s not giving all he has to the process and I wonder how much of that is me not giving my all to my life. How much of this madness has to do with my not being all I am meant to be? How much of this madness has to do with fear? Of not being or doing enough with my life.

    Enough about those areas. There were good things going on as well. I visited my friend whose house I helped paint. We’ve been working on a business proposal for a while now that has had its share of challenges. We were finalising a flyer. We had talked about paying for distribution but as we considered it further we thought we deliver them ourselves. Will keep our costs down. So all good to go with that.

    From there I went to a planning and assessment seminar at Work and Income. I’d collected some of the bits and pieces they wanted me to bring but had neglected a few things so I wasn’t overly confident that there was going to be any change to the situation there. As I was going in I was receiving texts from the temping agency I’d signed up with saying they had work for me. It was all happening. It kind of felt surreal here I was signing up for unemployment and receiving calls about jobs at the same time. The madness of it all.

    And other things began opening up also. Just bumping into people I hadn’t seen for weeks. I’m not sure whether this process has changed me or that something else on a more global perspective changed. I am moving again at least financially. And I’m committed to sharing myself through my blog.

    Life is too precious. I thought about not connecting when I saw people on the street that I knew. I considered just biking on to my appointment. Life is much more satisfying when I stopped to smell the flowers along the way. In  a metaphorical sense people are flowers – they bloom when treated to some positive attention – a smile, a hug, recognition. When the sun of a smile, of recognition, of a hug shine on me I can’t help but return the compliment.

    Life is good.

    Blessings to you.

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  • Working with Qualities of the Soul: Vast

    Posted on by AndrewMichaelChallies Comment

    A vast potentiality within. A universe of possibilities to explore as a human. Logos, Moore explains as being the “mysterious, unfathomable nature of soul”.

    I hadn’t imagined that my daughter would want to do a bungy-jump while she was here. I’d thought she had done one before so I was quite honoured when she said she wanted to do it at the same place her brother had.

    It was raining a little on the way on the way to Hanmer and the thought was there that may they wouldn’t jump in the rain. They do it in all weathers. There was no backing out.

    If someone had said to me 25 years ago that a few years from now people would be jumping off bridges on the end of gigantic rubber bands, bouncing, swinging and dangling, I’m not sure I’d have believed them. Now it is a widely accepted adventure activity. It is definitely part of that vast potentiality of wonderful experience.

    And the smile that was on my daughter’s face when she returned to the look-out point where I’d been videoing the jump was testament to the breath-taking nature of experiencing herself as someone who has thrown themselves off a bridge for the sheer thrill. Now I can’t wait to do it myself. I used to wonder why I hadn’t done it before and now I know. I felt absolutely privileged to have been witness to both my son and daughter taking this plunge and I don’t think I’d have fully appreciated the looks that I saw on their faces had I done it prior to them.

    Talking to her afterwards it was if the whole experience had possessed her. I asked if she’d noticed the bus going across while they were preparing her. Absolutely oblivious of the fact. There was just her and the jump. The photographer below had called to her to wave and it was a distraction that her mind didn’t want to comprehend so the wave was a bit hesitant. She was itching to get off the bridge, wanted the countdown 3, 2, 1 to hurry up so she could just do it. She was ready to go on 3. Any hesitation and she knew that her mind would have begun to organise excuses as to why she couldn’t do it. And again that smile attested to the vastness of  committing to something and succeeding.

    Tuesday was one of those days that seemed to have it all. Action, adventure, grace, relatedness, beingness, beauty, love, sadness.

    Following the jump we went a little further into the township of Hanmer which is a geothermal area and noted for its hot pools. We “took the waters” as used to be said of people enjoying the warmth of naturally occuring hot water.

    Moving from hot to cooler, hotter still and then cool, steam rising from the pools in the almost wintry weather. It was raining and though still the middle of summer a little on the cool side. We were chatting all the time and I’m usually a man of few words when in conversation.

    Then it was beer and a basket of fries in the pub. The rain had increased in intensity by this stage and it was one of those great moments sitting in a warm place with hot food and a cold beer just watching rain outside seemingly in unity with the moment.

    We drove back to Christchurch thinking we’d drop in and see my sister. Not home. Granny and Poppa weren’t home either when we called in there. And that was perfect she got to spend some quality time with her brother before we had to head out to the airport to put her on the plane.

    The drive to the airport was quiet and a touch of sadness as I thought about her heading home. In the past it was me going home after I’d spend a weekend with them. It’s always there leaving the children behind. That bond needing to be broken so that I could continue with my life however it turned out. Within the sadness lies the love. The bond between parent and child.

    I won’t call it bittersweet because there’s no bitterness. There is definitely a sweetness within the sadness because of the love I hold for both of them.

    Blessings

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  • Working with Qualities of the Soul: Individual

    Posted on by AndrewMichaelChallies 1 Comment

    My apologies, I had intended to have this post on the site yesterday morning. I have had my daughter visiting and we’d made plans for yesterday so I put this on the backburner.

    I’m always interested in what might be going on for me from a soul perspective when I notice a song running a continuous loop in my head or the words for a song. The words that were running – I feel so uninspired – are from the song Sway by one of our beautiful Kiwi singers, Bic Runga.

    Sorry little sidetrack here: I just love doing this. I went to find lyrics for the song.  While re-connecting with the words I found this neat widget that you can put in your sidebar that scrolls through the lyrics of whatever song you’re inspired by. Its from MetroLyrics. The heart may not appear to be in keeping visually with the overall tone of the blog. It is representative, though, of the underlying message. The Path with Heart. The heart is the seat of the Soul in our bodies.

    Anyway part of me was feeling uninspired considering the challenge facing me. And I was enjoying having my daughter with me though our time would only be a few days. I let her know the challenge I’m facing at the moment without letting it affect the specialness of her presence. I’ve seen what I can be like in the past when I’ve been in similar headspaces. I allowed myself to be with all of it without withdrawing.

    As I consider lyrics I find myself directing those lyrics inward to my soul or divine self instead of turning them outwards to an external person or event. The following are those lyrics from Sway that speak to that place – the place in me that wants to know and be connected to the divine.

    Say you’ll Stay
    Don’t come and go
    Like you do
    Sway my way
    Yeah I need to know
    All about you
    Its all because of you


    As I do this sometimes I connect to something deep within. A chord is struck within my soul and I feel touched by something greater than myself. I’m not sure what you call it, God, Source, Higher Self, Spirit, Essence, Buddha, the Divine, Love, Life. Whatever you name it is a part of you and a part of all that you experience.

    With this essence that is a part of us all and connects us with all manifestations of life what is the need of an individuality to our Soul? Why can we not just be like everybody else?

    Because it is within the infinite manifestation of variety that The Divine is able to understand each nuance of what it means to be a spiritual being having a physical experience. This is the fascination of life.

    What makes you unique? How are you experiencing life in a way that is different to those around you? I’ll bet we all know someone who we consider eccentric – that isn’t following norm – who isn’t conforming to our own imagining of how life should be. And that may be a key – our own imagining of how life should be.

    If in our imagination our life should be a particular way that should creates an attachment and as we become attached we either stop being in the flow of life or are attaching ourselves to someone or something with whom we imagine we want to flow through life with. And yet within that we can still find our individuality our uniqueness.

    Being with the challenge has been eccentric behaviour for me. I have seen that I’m not like the rest of my family, that I won’t allow myself to be treated like the sheep that New Zealand is famous for, mustered off to the first position the government finds for me. I also get lots of email calling me to follow this system or that to make lots of money and yet I find that a hollow representation of what we are here for.

    I believe we need to find ways of creating a nurturing world wherein each person on Planet Earth has the opportunity to experience themselves as a representation of the Divine Energy, to celebrate their individuality, to feel passionate about who they are and what they’re doing, to gratefully share it all without thought of what’s in it for me.

    Who are you without what you do? Who are you without what you have? Who are when you allow yourself to be?

    Blessings


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  • Working with Aspects of the Soul: Intuition

    Posted on by AndrewMichaelChallies Comment

    Working with intuition seems difficult as I continue to face financial challenge. Often I am pre-occupied with a knot of fear in my stomach and as I follow that rather than opening to my heart I remain a little stuck. Doing, focusing on what is required for my physical self seems to take me away from that knot and yet it returns when my thoughts turn inward again. I’m feeling it now as I begin this post.

    What is the fear? Why am I wasting my time doing this when I should be out finding a job, earning money, putting food on the table, moving away from relying on the goodwill of my family and friends. At the same time there is a deep and sincere gratitude for their support over this period.

    Having said that intuition had a large part to play as my blog unfolded yesterday. Not simply getting in there and doing it but going back and googling A Beautiful Mind clarified the truth about the story which gave me a new trail to follow.

    I kept reminding myself throughout the day to be feel connected to intuition. I carried the sensation of connection to the void during my conscious connected breathing session on Friday of being in the light. My physical self felt more poised.

    My first task of the day to pick up my daughter from the airport. As I drove out there I seemed to be in perfect alignment with time. I was trusting that I’d arrive there and she’d be waiting to go. At Christchurch airport you have 20 mins free parking before you have to pay. I parked and got to the terminal there was a little delay and then she was on the stairs. Once we’d connected I quickly excused myself to get the car. Perfect – no charge.

    Visited my Mum and Dad to catch them up with their granddaughter. Got home and my son had breakfast lining up – couldn’t have written that one in the plan. Headed off to the Mall and we went separate ways.

    Perfect opportunity to allow a finer tuned experience of intuition. I allowed that void experience to be present and decided on the shop I felt she’d be. I went there and she wasn’t. Never mind I wandered around remaining open to pick up any hunch. She’d said she was in the market for a pair of shorts and I walked past all the places I felt might be a place where she’d shop. It was when I returned to my original hunch that she wandered up. She’d been sidetracked to sleepwear.

    Another interesting experience when in the afternoon I was back at the same Mall with my son and his friend in tow as well. We were walking back to the car where I’d expected them to be – I’d seen them walking that way. I got back to the car and they weren’t. They’d been in the Mall and walked from the other side towards us and I’d missed them. My expectations coloured my experience of intuition. I needed to let go of expectation.

    Hindsight too is a wonderful thing. I looked after my nephews that night. And the eldest is having some difficulty sleeping at the moment. I was having some quiet time with the tv and when he got out of bed I’d try to allay his fears – yes I’ll send Mummy in when she gets home etc. I won’t say I should’ve used another way. The intuitive hindsight was that I’d’ve been better to sit down with him and talk him through it – find out what was really bothering him. There are NLP practitioners that live quite close to him that could work with that sleeplessness process in a more focused way than me. I’ll suggest it.

    This is the final post with regard to working with Aspects of the Soul. When I followed a similar process we repeated each aspect 3 times to intensify its presence in our consciousness.

    Creating intention in the morning and following through later in the evening or early the next day by journaling is an ongoing process as we sift through our experiences  to discover what works and what doesn’t.

    On my next post I’ll be working with the Qualities of the Soul in the same as I have for the Aspects.

    Blessings

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  • Working with Aspects of the Soul: Wisdom

    Posted on by AndrewMichaelChallies Comment

    Wisdom is simple.

    I have always believed in numbers, in the equations and logics that lead to reason. But after a lifetime of such pursuits I ask, “What truly is logic?” … It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logical reasons can be found.
    Russell Crowe playing mathematician John Nash in A Beautiful Mind

    I was going to tell you how moved I was by the final scene of the movie “A Beautiful Mind”, from which the quote above comes, until I Googled it and found Holt UnCensored. What is the wisdom in keeping the truth from people? The Movie – I keep capitalizing the M in movie this morning for some strange reason – becomes a fictionalised account of the truth. Maybe it serves a purpose for the wider public to give them courage to face the demons of their own lives. Perhaps I’m being caught up in a truth and lies thing. When we see anything that gives us heart whether true or fictionalised it simply gives us heart.

    When I heard it I thought what a wonderful piece, I can use that tomorrow when I ‘m writing about wisdom. I see it now as a sentiment meant to engender an emotional response from an audience. And I was touched by the words, though I find it sad that the makers felt they had to change the substance of the movie to somehow make it more palatable for a wider audience. That even in truth the story is a triumph over adversity. There may have been no need to softsoap the movie-going public.

    I visited my friend Wendy Joy for a Conscious Connected Breathing session yesterday morning. Also known as Rebirthing, the session is guided by the practitioner firstly to get the client into and maintain their breathing pattern initially, at regular times along the way, and then if they appear to be in some difficulty as the session unfolds.

    Yesterday I had a most beautiful experience as I connected with the void. In previous experiences there was a darkness – not an unpleasant darkness – but a darkness nonetheless. Yesterday an experience of light in the void. I struggled some of the way with the breathing but after a while it took on a life of its own. While it somehow seemed significant to experience the light, the moment Wendy placed her hand on my back I finally understood. That’s when the tears came. The tears of absolute blessedness. If I seek the light or anything connected with the light to the exclusion of all else, then I miss the point of our material existence. To experience each other as physical. One hand gently placed on my back was enough to discover the wisdom of being here in the physical.

    Wendy also lent me the book A New Earth by Eckhardt Tolle. There is a wonderful passage early in the book where he tells the story of the Buddha giving a silent sermon in which he simply contemplates a flower he is holding gently in his hand. Only one of his monks understood the power of the sermon.

    As I looked at my own wisdom yesterday in the context of the challenges I’ve been facing I see the ways in which I am able to delude myself, lie to myself, love myself, be in the moment, follow my path, be myself as I feel the expectations of those around me or are they in fact my own expectations projected outward.  All is well and I am Blessed.

    Blessings

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  • Working with Aspects of the Soul: Freedom

    Posted on by AndrewMichaelChallies Comment

    I definitely felt freer within myself yesterday. I’m forming a new habit through blogging and it feels positive.

    Once completed I easily moved on to another item I felt I needed to explore. That I look to receive some financial support even though it will only be temporary. I filled out the papers even though in some sections I felt resistance to what they were asking. I rang the Work and Income Department of the New Zealand government. They wanted to put me back to the work broker I had consulted with before. I didn’t want to revisit that experience. I took the planning and assessment option.

    I’m not resisting work. I’m open to receive work that comes my way that takes account of my full talents and abilities and is in alignment with my purpose for this lifetime. I’m not going to take the first job that is waved in my face by a bureaucrat.

    Once I’d completed the paperwork I had to collect some data from my current employee at Christchurch’s AMI Stadium to verify my earnings last year. It was also an opportunity to pick up my knives which I’d left there after the previous game I’d worked on. While there the boss gave me a run down on what was coming up for the months of February and March. It seems intense. And it feels right.

    Part of this decision is based on working with a 75 year old chef. Most of the people that he’s worked with over the years have left and I’m getting the feeling that this may be his last season there. I want to be there for that. He has a fifteen year old daughter and feels a duty to work to provide for her.

    I don’t get a sense that he feels free to do what men of his age are doing – enjoying retirement. He’s down to earth, has had many experiences in his lifetime, he keeps in touch with a lot of the people that have worked alongside him, and mostly has a humorous way about him. He knows what he wants to do and does it, he’s always ready to show the young ones how to do a particular task if they’re struggling and are open to be taught. There are times when he’s unsure about something and allows himself to seek clarification. He’s a shining example of what it means to be human and privilege to work with him. Thank you Jimmy.

    When I got home I connected with the temping agency I signed up with to check on work availability. I was beginning to think it was a little weird that when I was painting I was receiving invitations to work and then once painting was over the notifications stopped. If as a Creative Mythologer I am aware that the world is always a reflection of my dominant thoughts what was with that? I have no aversion to work. I am choosing to put myself out there to work and I am choosing to commit to my blog that others may find a path to their transformation.

    Don’t you hate when you look at a word that seems right and when you check its wrong and sometimes it just looks silly. That’s how it was when I began looking to see if I spelled commitment right. I had two t’s before and was sure it was right. What might that be saying around my belief of commitment.

    Making a choice and being committed to that choice creates freedom. Freedom that comes from the acknowledgment of commitment. Of bringing all of who we are to the banquet that is life. In making commitment we allow ourselves to truly be with whatever it is we are committing to. Commitment to truth is liberating. To follow what is true in the face of what seem to be overwhelming odds. To imprison ourselves to being true to our Self is the paradoxical path to freedom.

    I was feeling imprisoned by the challenges and resistances I was facing and yet as I faced and embraced the resistances that were begging me to honour them I enabled myself to feel freer. The day became clearer and my disposition lighter.

    I received a wonderful email which touched me from a friend. I honoured the promise I’d made to myself to begin the article I was planning. It was started and the day closed out with a sense of peace in my heart. Life is Good

    Blessings

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  • Working with Aspects of the Soul: Perfect Poise

    Posted on by AndrewMichaelChallies Comment

    It was a day of struggling to find the presence of perfect poise. I only felt it momentarily a couple of times. That moment  of first connecting with it was long past and the necessities of life seemed to be battering at the door. Find employment, let go of your addictions, follow your dreams, find your passion, open yourself to beauty, be grateful for all that you have now.

    As has been the pattern for the last few weeks I began by posting. I wasn’t sure if it was my best that I was giving. I had in the back of my mind a movie I was wanting to reconnect with on Sky. They were playing Scent of a Woman, one of my all time favourite movies. The plot summary is at the link. Al Pacino is brilliant in the character of Lt Col. Frank Slade. Chris O’Donnell is very accomplished as Charles Sims who has taken the job of looking after him over Thanksgiving weekend. Slade takes Sims with him to New York on what he’s planning will be his last hurrah. He plans to commit suicide after allowing himself a few last indulgences.

    There are many wonderful moments when you’re touched by the soul of the characters, in particular Frank. Beneath his tough exterior there is the softness of a soul that has experienced moments of bliss and these are rendered even more exquisite by the fact that he is blind.

    Charlie shows his mettle when confronted with Slade preparing himself to take his final step. Charlie is also struggling with a demon of his own unsure of what to do in the circumstance.

    As Charlie has saved Frank, so Frank takes Charlie’s side in the film’s final showdown.

    That’s the power of perfect poise. Allowing integrity to be your guide. That scene always brings tears to my eyes.  I’m moved by it. I wonder where that place might be in me. The power to change my life. Have I yet to reach that low point where I say enough is enough? That depth from where power finally comes in such potent fashion. I’m in awe of the sight of someone standing in their magnificence.

    I’m at a crossroads, in fact each conscious moment is a crossroads where I can choose to stand in my power or shrink away. Frank says he always knew the right path but never took it because it was too hard. It seems this is a mirror for my own life. Each time the right path becomes clear and I’m asked to choose it, I have shrunk away from it. And yet life will keep offering the right path to me maybe unto death. Each time the circumstances seem more difficult not to take it. It’s like life is saying to me, “What are you going to do now, pal”.

    Ok. I receive your message. It’s loud and clear. Life wants me to expand my conception of who I really am. It’s as if the waves of the big bang are still expanding the universe and everything in it and we can’t help by being carried along with it. The line “Get busy livin or get busy dyin” from The Shawshank Redemption comes in here as well. What am I doing when I feel most alive?

    Having said that there is stuff going on the background moving me forward. Paths taken. I know I’ll get there. Those around me are assisting in however I experience them.

    On my way to the Gnostic seminar late in the afternoon I had a loop going on in my mind about everything being bullshit, illusion. That maybe those proponents of being in the light are increasing the amount of darkness we experience. After all is not the world always in harmony? Is it not always seeking balance? The feeling I get from these Gnosticians is a sense of this balance without a need to create or bring more light to the world. They are there with what is.

    In the seminar they were speaking about their Creation Myth. In their experience the path is the divine finding its way downward into Man and then once established within, Man then projects this sense of divinity outward into life itself. Part of that experience they call The Being. The way it was written up I imagined it was an entity. As I contemplated it further and connected with it as a quality and sensed again the wonder of perfect poise.

    Before I arose this morning I read a little of the The Serpent Grail. It made reference to the Gnostics and their relationship with the snake in the form of Ouroboros (the snake with its tail in its mouth) which to them symbolises eternity and the world soul. And again the coiled snake loops back to the labyrinth I was speaking of yesterday, the journey within.

    The labyrinth was also likened to the way our brains are unfolded within the skull. I was present to a conversation yesterday discussing enlightenment by having the corpus callosum severed. I googled it this morning and while this particular excerpt didn’t mention enlightenment within this context it did say that people that had undergone this procedure could do some things seemingly impossible.

    Wheels within wheels within wheels…..

    Blessings

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  • Working with Aspects of the Soul: Inner Calm

    Posted on by AndrewMichaelChallies Comment

    Have patience. Endurance is one of the characteristics of the I AM Presence.

    As I write I’m feeling less patient with this process and wanting to give it all up and go back to a life that seemed somehow easier.

    Having said yesterday that I was sleeping well, I awoke this morning while the sky was still dark. And the thought going through my mind was “say something one day and life turns round and plays a different card the next”.

    Never mind, it wasn’t as if I was lying awake all night worried about the prospect of today. Because today is about perfect poise, while what I’m writing up here is yesterdays stuff in case I have some illuminating moment in the middle of the night.

    I’ve taken a moment to read the section on perfect poise because yesterday I neglected to and didn’t create an intention with the subtleties of the aspect of Inner Calm. I spent the day cultivating a sense of Inner Calm without taking into account the rest of what I’d written about it – the nuances of patience and endurance.

    Once I’d posted yesterday and had some breakfast I worked on a job application for a children’s health camp here in Christchurch. As I look back now I see a sense of resignation at the time. That this was something to endure rather than enjoy. And the end result reflected that. It also told me a lot about who I really am and how much of that is hidden. The requirement for the application was to fill out the form correctly. This I did. And on the surface of the application the person reading it would see that I’m a chef. There was space at the end of the form to fill the assessor in on the other things that make me who I am. I have studied many different fields over the last 10 years attending workshops and seminars in several personal and professional development modalities and yet I have no diploma, and very little certification to show for it. Who am I without that?

    A lot of the feelings and thoughts that were coming to me yesterday were around letting go completely of my work as a chef. There is still a tug to go back to the safety of that rather than advance boldly in the direction of my dreams.

    There is a sense of what Thomas Moore describes as walking the labyrinth. The soul journey can be arduous and full of twists and turns and dead ends. Sometimes it feels like I’ve been in a labyrinth for the last 10 years.

    In Greek Mythology Theseus, holding Ariadne’s golden thread so that he can find his way out again, walks into the labyrinth to slay the Minotaur .

    There’s been times when I feel as though I’ve dropped the golden thread and on the dirt floor searching for it so I may continue my journey. Maybe if I’d let go of being a chef earlier my life would have changed sooner. Maybe. I’ll never know. Having stayed in the trade opened a door in my mind to see cooking processes as having relevance in the field of self development.

    Why hasn’t it come together and taking off? I’m still in the labyrinth. I may even be in the process of slaying the Minotaur. Perhaps the Minotaur doesn’t need slaying but rather integrating.

    A white bull was gifted to the Minos the King of Crete by Poseidon. Minos decided to keep the bull and sacrifice one of his own herd instead. He did not honour what he had committed to with Poseidon.

    In time his wife became attracted to the bull and conspired with Daedalus to build a wooden cow. The cow was a decoy in which she secreted herself that she might mate with the bull.  The Minotaur was the fruit of their loins.  The Minotaur had the head and tail of a bull and the body of a man. Daedalus went on to build the labyrinth to house the monster he had played a part in creating.

    From one perspective I might see that the Minotaur representing the lies I tell myself  and the courage it takes to stop those lies. Am I being bull-headed about the process of my life? Am I honouring the calling of my higher self?

    Blessings

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