CreativeMythologyCreating Personal Mythology

“Did you come here for forgiveness,

Did you come to raise the dead,

Did you come here to play Jesus

to the lepers in your head?”

“One”

U2

This morning before I got up I entered into a shamanic meditation, a guided meditation to my medicine place. A place of spiritual solace gifted by the Creator, however you perceive him to be. A place to receive guidance, to connect with teachers and guides

Over the past months I have neglected this source being too focused on the tasks in front of me as a Catering Manager. Whenever I have entered the space it has only been experienced superficially – no real depth to the communications within. And again this morning this was so. No depth of experience. While two of my guides were present I felt largely ignored by them, something that I have patently been doing to them.

One of the stimuli for this exploration of Sacred Sorrow was a dream a few weeks ago. In it I had found a piece of land I felt I wanted to buy on a corner in my old neighbourhood. It was an empty section with mounds here and there and hedges in the middle and the surrounds. I went away to source the finance. When I came back there was a bohemian couple living on it. I felt aggrieved that I’d missed out on this property. Not only that but the man came up to me and reached into my pocket and removed a shiny glass ornament, dripping wet, from my pocket with a red and blue symbol embedded in its centre. At the same time a piece of pounamo (jade, greenstone) with crocheted wings flew out of another pocket and alighted on the nearby hedge. I was noticing a sense of deep sadness within me as this unfolded. Underlying the sense these items were being taken away from me was another feeling of them being still present.

There’s a sense of powerlessness in some of the imagery. I know I’ve not been doing myself any favours in other areas of my life. Allowing my addictions a greater hold – TV, computer games, cigarettes, email, coffee. I feel powerlessness as I consider them and the ways I can break the habits.

As I ponder the last thought I see that by transferring that sense of powerlessness on to the objects themselves there are ways to divert myself from the sense of addiction. Seeing the objects as powerless diminishes their hold on me and my sense of personal power grows stronger.

Addictions are certainly manifestations of the “lepers in my head”. The verse in “One” those words come from also include references to forgiveness and raising the dead. By playing Jesus to the lepers in our heads we’re able bring to life that which may lie dead or sleeping within our psyches. Unable to forgive my own faults how can I expect to forgive the faults of others.

How often in the silence of my mind do the lepers take up residence and I hear myself saying I should do this, I should do that, I should have done this, I should have done that!? It occurs typically when feeling a need to confront my addictive ways. I have heard it described as “the tyranny of shoulds” or “shoulding all over myself”. There is a sense of doing things on a whim when should is mentioned. Powerlessness kicks in when I add have to the mix. I missed an opportunity. Poor me and into a downward spiral!

And yet “ONE” holds a positive message as well. As I consider it from a point of powerlessness I see the lyrics pointing towards an impotence in relationship not only with another but also with the world itself. Perhaps the “raising of the dead” can be acknowledged as we work with those parts of ourselves that we have left for dead in the aftermath of shoulds. Can I forgive myself for not standing up and being definitive in the path of a storm of shoulds? Can I hear myself saying I AM or I WILL when a “should” is like looking on the face of the Medusa, poisonous serpents flailing about her head, threatening to turn me to stone.

One love, One blood

One life, you got to do what you should

One life with each other

Sisters, Brothers

One life, but we’re not the same

We got to carry each other, carry each other

Can I find the power within to help myself in turn offering the same to others struggling.

Resources:

Going Home to Your Medicine Place Guided Meditation. Academy of Shamanic Studies

( http://www.shamanic.ac.nz/index.html )
Click on Products in left sidebar then navigation bar on page.

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A new wind has blown through my reading habits. Prior to finding Ellen Burstyn’s “Lessons in Becoming Myself” . I had been trawling through myriad self help books gaining some insights here and there but without finding much that touched my soul. I seem to find the books that connect me to something deeper on the bargain tables in book stores and it happened again. There was something in me that just had to read this.

As in “UP” here was a shining example of what I like to think of as Creative Mythology. On the first page there was a reference to Mnemosyne, the Greek Goddess of Memory, mother of the 9 Muses fathered by Zeus. Somehow fitting as each of them seemed to touch her life in some way. Music, dancing, history, love, comedy, tragedy, epic and lyric poetry, and astronomy were all under the governance of the Muses.

The book worked on different levels. Ellen appears to follow a couple of perspectives, that of her spiritual journey and also her journey as an actress. Both combine to evoke a profound life. Simply read as autobiography it gave wonderful insight into Ellen Burstyn and if I’d been unaware of who she is I might have thought I was reading a novel.

Ellen models beautifully the way to craft a life, showing the way to follow a dream, of letting go of the riverbank and moving into the flow. Sure, along the river there are rapids where the ride holds peril and Ellen’s story is not short of those. There are stretches where the river slows and the flow is gentle, allowing her be more conscious of how life is unfolding and she recounts these with keen attention.

I was moved by her struggles with addictions and relationships and how they mirror my own. She spoke of them with detachment observing them from the writers perspective seeing how she was touched by them at that time but now no longer. I’d like to say that for the me that’s still working with them.

I was enchanted by her life. So much so that I had to read it a second time. I noted passages and pages that spoke to me. The one that is sitting with me now is one I didn’t note. She talks about working with and being mentored by Lee Strasberg of the Actor’s Studio. The feeling I got from the passage was that what is happening in the moment whether part of the performance or not, is perfect not only for the performance but also perhaps for the actor’s life outside of her art. And so it is for all of us being able to perceive the perfection in the present moment. That was brought home for me as I watched the trees from the kitchen window seeing them in the early morning light noticing a nuance I hadn’t seen before and reflecting on Ellen’s perceptiveness as she notices the nuances of characters as her roles evolved.

In another profound passage she tells of being drawn into learning through doing crossword puzzles and as she discovered new words she was initiated into study. I can imagine there was a sort of a family tree evolving as she was led from a reference in one book to seek out another. Looking always for what might be the ultimate truth, that truth that will allow us to live fully in the present. And being aware, as Sartre said, of a “God-shaped hole in my heart.” Wow.

Ellen confronts her fears and has epiphanies on her journey. She meets some of the 20^th century’s more famous people outside of the acting fraternity and is touched by these encounters.

Her strong connection with Sufism as a spiritual path because it honours the wisdom of all religious traditions again mirrors my own experience.

Ellen never shys away from seeking help in understanding herself when confronted by an aspect of her psyche with which she was uncomfortable and thence taking another step to becoming fully alive, fully present.

The photos from her personal collection show Ellen’s evolving radiant beauty while her roles show the diversity of characters she played.

The latter stages of her path were spent without companionship. It was a beautiful ending to find her under the auspices of the god Eros.

Blessings

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Forgive me Father for I have sinned! Sinned against the writers motto. “Never a day without a line”. I fell in love with instant access internet and now it is no more at least for the moment. No longer am I able to retreat to my desk and put together my thoughts, embed youtube and photos to illustrate my experience. Shame on me.

I had the title for this post in my head for a few days aware of how I’d allowed my blog to take a backseat while I found myself in a new job with limited internet. It wasn’t about the blogging really. It was plain laziness using the challenges of the area as an excuse! It was other habits pulling up chairs round the table that is me and saying we’re still here!!! And of course me, being the person I am said, have a beer, stay for a while. Ok, so they may have overstayed their welcome. It’s time to be getting back to what I enjoy. Writing with the added bonus of putting it in a blog. Complete with the odd photo.

I’ve continued taking photos when I’ve been moved by the scenery, seeing that in some way these have deepened my thoughts about what I’m creating in that moment. So I’m still being moved by my inner yearning to experience a beautiful world. And yet I find I’m out of the habit of putting words to these feelings because circumstances have changed.

I still have a computer, I still have the writers paraphenalia – pens, notebooks. I have no excuses. I notice that other habits are filling the space I used to have for blogging – food, nicotine, television. There seems to be something habitual about the way I’m approaching these things at present. Though I am able to remain detached in my thoughts as I see these habits present themselves there is something a little frightening in seeing them become more firmly embedded.

Is it an oral fixation, a hangover from childhood? Perhaps my being able to articulate my world view through blogging led to a freedom from feeling the pull of addiction. It was certainly there in the background but not as strong as it is now. The feeling of having a positive effect on others through this internet medium seemed to soften the winds of addiction to a gentle breeze rather than the storm that seems to brewing at present.

I’m also feeling the stress of having to give a presentation later this week and what better way to not only clarify my thoughts but also to give you, my readers some food for thought.

I’ve been asked to speak at The Forum, outling my book Life’s a Banquet and leading a guided meditation.

Life’s a Banquet grew out of my career as a chef and an ongoing relationship with personal growth. I took on studies in counselling, psychotherapy, life-coaching and shamanism without seeing any of them through to a diploma. Self directed study in mythology, the soul and motivational tools also added flavour to the mix. One of the elements of the mythological Hero/Heroine’s journey was particularly enlightening and I began to see how it was tied in to what I was doing as a chef. I revisited the elements of my training and saw how I could put together a personalised coaching program through adhering to the precepts of the chef’s training.

Considering the criteria for marking on our practical exams I found the following would be useful for putting together a coaching program. Skills, Personal Presentation, Workplan, Efficiency, Cleanliness, Wastage, Group Areas.

Whatever your background you’ll have skills relevant for creating a coaching program for yourself. Your personal presentation, having a workplan, being efficient, adopting an attitude of cleanliness and orderliness, being aware of how you may waste time or resources, being aware of how you work with others; all these are relevant to creating the life that is a fitting extension of who you are at a deeper level.

From motivational theory we have the concepts of gratitude and appreciation, clarifying vision, being directed from within, passion, action, letting go of attachment to outcomes, and becoming aware of our unconscious recipes. Follow these and adopt an attitude of seeing beauty and good in all. Life will return the gift. Look more deeply into the multiplicity of who and where you are right now, and find your soul being nurtured in ways you never imagined it was.

Road Sign at Night

Blessings, and beware of signs stepping in front of your camera at night.

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Banks Peninsula

It has been five weeks now since I began at YMCA Wainui Park in the position of Catering Manager. My son drove me out there the day before I was due to start. As fate would have it we ran into a little difficulty on the way. An accident on the hill to Banks Peninsula meant traffic would be held up for two hours. We decided to take a back road. Though I later discovered the accident had had tragic consequences the choice to take this road less travelled seemed an inspired choice. The day was clear and we had views all round for miles stretching to the south and west.

Looking South from Southern Bays Road

Since then it has been full on. With groups requiring catering almost back to back. It has only been the last two or three weekends that I’ve been able to take a some time for myself . There have been moments of grace though. The quiet time first thing in the morning when I’m able to connect with the beauty of nature that surrounds me. The silence punctuated by bird song and the wind through the trees. I had a couple of friends visit yesterday and as I showed them around they commented that everywhere they looked both at Wainui and on their trip from Christchurch seemed picture perfect.

That is the way of nature. There is perfection as we look not only closely at the plants but also at the panoramas of the bigger picture. What is it within us that seems imperfect? Creation takes time on the physical plane. Each second, each minute, each hour, each day is a step towards a perfect life. And each moment can be perfect within itself if we are both mindful and heartful in whatever it is we are doing.

Rhythm is important. During those first five weeks the tempo was intense. And now, the season over, I am finding it difficult to find a new step. Last week it felt like a pause between songs. It was like coming away from The Who concert. From the raw power of the music to ordinary life outside the stadium. That inner space that had been moved by the intensity of the music had to rediscover the pace of the everyday. And the concert was only 2 hours long. I’ve been working with that intensity 9+ hours most days for 5 weeks with the odd days respite here and there.

I’m finding a new rhythm this week. Making to time to work on my blog. Allowing work in the kitchen to develop a new pace. In the past I discovered that coming in to a new environment required time to tune into the tempo of the place then once that happened the work began to flow and more of who I am came to the fore. This change from being super busy has had a similar effect.

Talk of rhythm and tempo brings to mind the oral traditions in the times before we had written language. I imagine that the bards, the keepers of the histories, had a highly developed sense of the musicality of words which enabled them to commit large amounts of their history to memory. And I’m sure that once they got into the flow of communicating to their fellow men what was simply information in lyric form the rhythm and tempo would take them beyond the mundane to flights of fancy and into a mystical realm where they would begin to add a mythological context to the histories.

In essence the mystical experience enabled the bards to experience their God-Self. The God within. I acknowledge we all carry the seed of the Divine within us. What is it that brings us closer to experience ourselves as divine? The ancients first attributed divinity to elements of nature, to their external reality. Over time the attributes became internalised governing aspects of themselves that are seen today as forms of intelligence and yet they were seen as being somehow governed by these “god” manifestations.

Howard Gardner describes seven attributes of multiple intelligence : linguistic, logic-mathematical, musical, spatial, bodily kinesthetic, interpersonal and intrapersonal. These can be seen manifest in the characteristics of gods described not only by ancient cultures but also in the important personages of the Common Era – masters, saints, mystics, philosophers. Their inspiration derived from experience in nature, or by seeking the silence within.

It is this space that I feel close to as I look upon the view from the deck surrounded by nature’s beauty, experiencing the silence early in the morning or late at night and allowing that to nurture my soul. Although this encounter is more immediate in rural and wilderness areas I’ve found a deeper appreciation for those green areas within the city when I’ve visited on different occasions.

I’d love to share the photos I’ve taken over the past weeks as I’ve explored my surroundings and those I’ve snapped on visits to Christchurch. Unfortunately each time I go to load photos into the post the program closes. Its frustrating and rather than seeing the beauty that I bring to the page I hope you’ll take the time to encounter the divine beauty that is waiting for you wherever you are.

Blessings

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“A thought arrived in my consciousness yesterday and started building a home “. With those words I began the post Haunted by the Future. It feels like I’m beginning to move some furniture in.

The trip to Auckland and the meeting with the sculpted Moses returns me to his story and the plagues that were experienced in Egypt at that time.

There were 10 plagues according to the Old Testament. The first was the Nile turning to blood followed by frogs, gnats, flies, livestock disease, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, and the death of first born children.

Plagues of Egypt in Wikipedia gives a possible scenario on how these plagues may have occured naturally. It makes for interesting reading.

It got me considering how history might look back at the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Are there experiences that might be thought of as plague-like by future historians? Will a certain mythology arise from this seemingly transitional time we are going through?

What are our modern plagues? After I had Googled modern plague I found I needed to first define plague. What was at the top of the list had to do with biological disease. Another definition is… any widespread affliction, calamity, or evil, esp. one regarded as a direct punishment by God: a plague of war and desolation.

What came to mind for me personally were the following:

Consumerism/Debt, Deforestation, Addiction, Poverty, Celebrity, Climate Change, Female Infanticide – for each of these I’ve supplied links in the resources below.

The other plagues that came to mind were:

• Politics: I haven’t included a link here as politics is such a complex subject suffice it to say that it comes from the Greek word “polis” meaning state or city. “Politikos” concerns anything regarding the state or city affairs. These days we can include any forms of governance within corporate, religious, and academic institutions as having a political base. My personal slant is that I see those in power as being at times held to ransom by people with money. I see an us and them mentality that concerns itself with ideologies the average guy probably has no concept of. International politics seems to be a game of oneupmanship oblivious the needs of the common people and the Earth on which we live. And I’m also sure there are many politicians who have a good heart as well.
• Suicide: This is very close to my heart at present. One of my cousins has recently lost a son to suicide. I’m not sure whether I’d describe it as an epidemic, though that is the way a friend saw it. It is certainly a tragedy that Adam found it necessary to take away the most precious gift he had, his life. I heard it described as a “coward’s way out” and I’m not sure I believe that either. When I try to imagine what it might be like to reach that point I get the feeling that it is the most courageous act left to the person who feels they need to take that final step. I’m sure they are fully conscious that this is the only way. And finally -
• War/Terrorism.

I imagine that the law of attraction is bringing this to us all for a reason. I’m reminded of the book Zero Limits , a collaboration between Dr. Joe Vitale and his Hawaiian mentor Dr Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. In it Dr Hew Len asks that we consider that it we need to be responsible not only for what physically manifests that we in our lives but anything that enters our consciousness, anything that we become mindful of. Dr Len is the man who cured a ward of the criminally insane without seeing them in a therapeutic setting. By working on himself as he read through their records the environment around him began to change. He used a “mantra” as he encountered the space within triggered by what he was reading. The mantra – “I’m sorry… Please forgive me… Thank you… I love you”. He took responsibility for what was arriving in his consciousness and offered the “mantra” or prayer to the Divine. He acknowledged that to the Divine all was perfect and was taking responsibility for imperfectness of our human experience.

The way I understand it is to see that there is a perceived imperfection in the human condition and by becoming conscious of the places our imperfection manifests we are able to improve on them. We are only able to change that which we become conscious of.

I’m not surprised by synchronicities that occur as I continue to make posts on this blog. Only today I received an email from a friend that she’d forwarded on. An answer to the questions posed by these Modern Plagues?  A Call to Conscious Evolution . If what you read resonates there is a link at the bottom of the page where you can pledge your support.

And another synchronicity finding this quote at the beginning of the Zeitgeist: Addendum Movie…

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”

J. Krishnamurti

Blessings

Resources:

• Debt (89 min video),
• Deforestation ,
• Addiction ,
• Poverty ,
• Celebrity ,
• Climate Change ,
• Consumerism ,
• Female Infanticide .

Lest we forget beauty…..

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I’ve had a challenging week. I’ve been working and it has meant not attending to my blog. I’ve felt something amiss. Back to working in kitchens. Standing on my feet in one spot for hours. Preparing the same old dishes for the same old rugby games. Feeling the pain in my feet at the end of the day, looking forward to a day off and the pain to recede. Knowing its going to be the same old again when the next shift starts.

Arriving home last Wednesday and turning my computer on I found the message, “msconfig is missing or corrupted – use recovery disks to reboot your system”. And I knew what that meant. I’d loose everything that was there and I’d have to start anew. Starting anew. And that was the way I saw it a new start. I was back online by later that night. Downloading updates. My laptop is circa 2002. And the speed of cable broadband. A few hiccups and stumbles. Still stumbling even now. A toddler just getting up on his legs for the first time. Finding it interesting with both Firefox and Internet Explorer on my system after the recovery. Downloads not working in Firefox will work in IE.

Questions arise when things aren’t working properly. How do I make this work. Are the resources I have limiting what I am able to achieve. I was working on a website for a friend just prior to this happening, inspired by the tutorials I found on YouTube, and the templates in HostGator. I can do this I thought. And the more I used the little knowledge I had the worse it got. Am I meant to do this? I’d love to put this together for him. Playing with the templates in Photoshop. Sorting through the code, but not really feeling I know enough about more complex pages. Sure I’d put together a simple page but somehow this was different. I need to honour my limitations and be honest about them and either seek help or pass the project on to someone more knowledgeable.

The Code. A funny thing happened to me while I was in a bookstore. I found a book. The Code . ByTony Burroughs. It is subtitled 10 Intentions for a Better World. Was my sorting through html code in fact a pointer to a deeper code? A code poses questions. A code delineates an ethical basis for living. And The Code certainly does that. The 10 Intentions are: Support Life, Seek Truth, Set Your Course, Simplify, Stay Positive, Synchronise, Serve Others, Shine Your Light, Share Your Vision, and Synergise. Each of these intentions will beg a personal question or questions from us. How do I? What might I? Who with? Where will I?

When we set set an intention and walk with trust into our day we are posing a question of Life, of the Universal Intelligence, – “How will my life unfold now I have set this intention”. No doubt there will be wonder and mystery.

I was inspired by my blogger colleague Marvin D. Wilson from Free Spirit where he poses the question, “Should Christian fiction provide answers or lead us to questions?”

Maybe that question could be posed for not only Christian fiction but also for fiction of a spiritual nature. And non fiction as well. As Marvin says, “In non-fiction, say the memoirs of a Christian missionary, or a theological discourse, or a texbook for seminary, then yes – of course – you are writing for Christians … present your best Christian ideas and revelations and lay out your premises for leading a good Christian life. Give me your scholarly interpretations if you have exemplary intelligence and enlightenment on the subject of Christianity and are able to explain the path in new and refreshing ways”.

These can also lead to questions about whether what is interpreted is a truth for me personally or whether I need to walk a different path in order to discover my personal truth. I prefer to exchange the words Christian and Christianity for the words Spiritual and Spirituality. They offer a more universal context.

Mythology arises from the spirituality of ancient and not so ancient cultures. And as a result we find questions arising as we study different cultures. Though there is a certain disbelief to mythological stories what are the things we can believe? What are the elements that we question? Are there questions we imagine will lead us to an understanding of our spiritual natures.

Questions create answers. Answers create meaning. To look more deeply into ourselves we need to ask the deeper questions of ourselves. And the more profound the questions the more wisdom becomes rooted in our psyche. I heard the term Coyote Teaching from a VisionQuest protector trained by the Tracker School in New Jersey when he visited Christchurch early last year. It seems this method invites trainees to look more deeply into whatever process is going on for them and to pose more questions based on what they discover.

Each question we pose of Life opens up more questions for us. There is no doubt that each question posed will open up cracks in the shell of the ego allowing the light of divinity to shine more brightly as time unfolds. Through questioning the Divine Sculptor chips away at the stone of our being carving out the beauty of our soul’s form.

Nothing is certain when following a path of intention. We’re not sure what the universe will provide. In the unknowing is a darkness and the deeper into darkness I go the closer I feel to the light.

Blessings.

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This concept of otherness didn’t seem to be present yesterday. One idea I was pondering was needing to honour this blogging process at the end of the day rather than the beginning. The idea that I’m spending half the day working on the blog of the previous day shortens the time being able to experience the intention of the current day.

This may require being more conscious of and then journaling my dreams.  Dreams haven’t been embedding themselves in my awareness lately. The ones that are the most vivid I tend to remember. Then there are the smaller dreams that make a sort of cameo performance – I remember them in the morning but have forgotten them by the end of the day. I read somewhere that dreams are the psyche’s way of working with what is unresolved within us. I guess the vivid dreams are the more interesting things not resolved while the ‘cameo’ dreams are perhaps less interesting. Both can be equally important to the unfolding of the soul journey.

Having said that I do remember a dream from early this morning. I encountered a man, a friend I worked with over 15 years ago. As well as being a chef he also had a great mind too and could quote Shakespeare and many other poets. He was a example for me that though a chef and really focused in the physical, work wise my soul could also be further nurtured through other arts as well. I hadn’t been in contact with him for a few years though I was aware that he had Parkinson’s disease. In early January I was informed that he had passed away late last year a shell of his former self through his struggle with the disease. I experienced him in my dream as being younger than I remember him. Vibrant, brilliant, gentle, smiling. Still with that beard that he seemed to have forever though I only knew him for a few years.

Beards seem to have become a thread in my life. In the face of the dislike of beards from family and friends I have persisted with my beard. I shave it right back when it begins to look unruly and let it grow right back again. I tell people I’ve just become lazy. Who knows it may be more than that. I know I’m fascinated by the Greek God Oceanus who is depicted with a beautiful beard. I encountered him when I took a shamanic journey, a guided interactive meditation, to meet my daimon. I felt his gentle and playful nature.

At times thought to be the origin of all things, this is the god of the backward-flowing river Ocean, which bounds the earth and from which all rivers flow and every sea, and all the springs and wells.

Oceanus

I’m fascinated by the description of the backward-flowing river. Is it about always returning to our source? Acknowledging that at times the soul journey requires a backward step? Is it about feeling the energy of Earth flowing upwards through our bodies, after all Gaia was the mother of Oceanus and so intimately connected to him.

He always seems to have a troubled, yet gentle air about him in images. That gentle quality is indicated by his refusing to enter the conspiracy of his siblings to destroy his father Uranus. There is compassion in his nature. I feel that gentle but troubledness within myself.

I mentioned the daimon in The Soul Part 2 in conjunction with this sense of otherness. The deities of any of the pantheons, Greek, Roman, Asiatic, Norse, Celtic are all originally nature deities or have evolved from them. It is when I take time to be in nature and away from my urban existence that I feel the sense of this other that is also me. This other seems totally at peace with himself.

Thomas Moore mentions something similar in his audio retreat Soul Life. He recounts a story by Mircea Eliade that when he experienced this “otherness that was also himself” there was a sense of profound happiness.

Moore also mentions W.B. Yeats who felt he’d be fencing with this other back and forth, back and forth, neither one seeming to gain ascendancy. For me that begs the question – Is there a need for any ascendancy or is it the honouring of the process that is unfolding that finally allows this other to be at peace within the psyche?

I return to not having this feeling of this otherness about me. I’m not sure whether that means that all is right with my world. Am I exactly where I need to be without needing my soul consciousness to fence with me or needing to inform my innerself that I’m essentially happy.

I noticed when I was at work that there was a difference to the atmosphere of the place. Some of the staff there the previous day weren’t present. The sense of finding my feet was less and a sense of urgency had faded.  I still felt nervous and though there was less assistance at service time I managed ok, finishing earlier than I had on Saturday.

I enjoyed connecting with these new people and to feel the energy of their personalities. It takes me back to the uniqueness of each person’s experience and how they contact the world. To see how they relate to each other, to listen to the banter that unfolds among them gives a sense that they’re enjoying what they’re doing and being together.

Blessings

Resources:

Thomas Moore
Soul Life:How to Nourish and Deepen your Everyday World. Available here
Thomas Moore’s site:Care of the Soul

Greek Myth: Oceanus

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Have patience. Endurance is one of the characteristics of the I AM Presence.

As I write I’m feeling less patient with this process and wanting to give it all up and go back to a life that seemed somehow easier.

Having said yesterday that I was sleeping well, I awoke this morning while the sky was still dark. And the thought going through my mind was “say something one day and life turns round and plays a different card the next”.

Never mind, it wasn’t as if I was lying awake all night worried about the prospect of today. Because today is about perfect poise, while what I’m writing up here is yesterdays stuff in case I have some illuminating moment in the middle of the night.

I’ve taken a moment to read the section on perfect poise because yesterday I neglected to and didn’t create an intention with the subtleties of the aspect of Inner Calm. I spent the day cultivating a sense of Inner Calm without taking into account the rest of what I’d written about it – the nuances of patience and endurance.

Once I’d posted yesterday and had some breakfast I worked on a job application for a children’s health camp here in Christchurch. As I look back now I see a sense of resignation at the time. That this was something to endure rather than enjoy. And the end result reflected that. It also told me a lot about who I really am and how much of that is hidden. The requirement for the application was to fill out the form correctly. This I did. And on the surface of the application the person reading it would see that I’m a chef. There was space at the end of the form to fill the assessor in on the other things that make me who I am. I have studied many different fields over the last 10 years attending workshops and seminars in several personal and professional development modalities and yet I have no diploma, and very little certification to show for it. Who am I without that?

A lot of the feelings and thoughts that were coming to me yesterday were around letting go completely of my work as a chef. There is still a tug to go back to the safety of that rather than advance boldly in the direction of my dreams.

There is a sense of what Thomas Moore describes as walking the labyrinth. The soul journey can be arduous and full of twists and turns and dead ends. Sometimes it feels like I’ve been in a labyrinth for the last 10 years.

In Greek Mythology Theseus, holding Ariadne’s golden thread so that he can find his way out again, walks into the labyrinth to slay the Minotaur .

There’s been times when I feel as though I’ve dropped the golden thread and on the dirt floor searching for it so I may continue my journey. Maybe if I’d let go of being a chef earlier my life would have changed sooner. Maybe. I’ll never know. Having stayed in the trade opened a door in my mind to see cooking processes as having relevance in the field of self development.

Why hasn’t it come together and taking off? I’m still in the labyrinth. I may even be in the process of slaying the Minotaur. Perhaps the Minotaur doesn’t need slaying but rather integrating.

A white bull was gifted to the Minos the King of Crete by Poseidon. Minos decided to keep the bull and sacrifice one of his own herd instead. He did not honour what he had committed to with Poseidon.

In time his wife became attracted to the bull and conspired with Daedalus to build a wooden cow. The cow was a decoy in which she secreted herself that she might mate with the bull.  The Minotaur was the fruit of their loins.  The Minotaur had the head and tail of a bull and the body of a man. Daedalus went on to build the labyrinth to house the monster he had played a part in creating.

From one perspective I might see that the Minotaur representing the lies I tell myself  and the courage it takes to stop those lies. Am I being bull-headed about the process of my life? Am I honouring the calling of my higher self?

Blessings

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The Soul is undiscovered, though explored forever to a depth beyond report
Heraclitus

I will never discover fully what the soul is. No matter what I do. It is limitless. It goes beyond even what I imagine the universe might be as it is said that the universe is finite; that if I was to shine a torch out into the depths of space that eventually after eons and eons of time it would come back and hit me in the back of the head. This earthly existence doesn’t give me the time.

I am unable to wait, for life changes from moment to moment, cells are dying in my body as I type and new ones are taking their place. I embrace change as a part of life. All I have is the precious now for what was, is now gone and what will be is yet to come. All I have to do is engage my soul and trust that whatever I need in this moment I will receive. And to receive without judgment.

How do I engage my soul? Where is my soul?

I see the soul as being our connection to the Life Essence and through that to each other entity from the denser energy of the stones, through plants, insects, birds, and animals. All are affected by what I am broadcasting to the world.

If I’d been in that engaged soulful space since birth I wouldn’t know what it was like to be out of it. In this earth-bound existence I can only experience one state when I have experienced its opposite. And so rather than judging my negative experiences as bad I now see them as a way to embrace and appreciate more fully the positive.

Jung said once that the soul does not reside within us, but that our bodies exist within the soul. Sort of like an egg where the yolk is the physical body and the white is the soul that surrounds it.

The place of the soul in my earthly vehicle is my heart. The heart provides a rhythm for life and as it beats, pulses the energy it is experiencing out into the world. It’s no surprise that we are able to discern a person’s disposition though they may be silent. Whether they are happy, sad, joyous, jealous or angry they are broadcasting it to the world each time the heart beats. When I look into my heart, when I connect with others from a heart-centred attitude, then my soul is engaged.

Finding pleasure is considered the foremost quality of soul. When I find soulful pleasure in whatever I do I am increasing the vitality of this temple I call my body. It may take me a while to get into that zone and as life changes I may easily slip out of it again. So why wouldn’t I want to be in that state constantly?

From the stand point of Creative Mythology I look at our traditional mythologies and the stories they tell. Most of them can tell us how to connect to this soulfulness, if we look at them in a metaphorical sense rather than a literal telling of a story. Rereading my post on Chaos may give you some insight into this.

Or consider the mythology of the Birth of Adonis.

The Mother of Adonis, Smyrna, was concerned about her incestuous feelings toward her father and tried to take her life to avoid what seemed to be the inevitable result. Her nurse discovered and saved her from this fate, colluding with her to bring this relationship to fruition which she did while the King, Smyrna’s father was drunk when her mother was away.

This continued until the King became suspicious of who the young girl was. Smyrna left and began to journey through several countries, praying to the gods along the way, unsure whether she wanted to live or die. In time the gods answered her prayers turning her into the tree bearing the name Myrrh.

After several Months the tree split open and Adonis was born.

When we look at the image of incest as a symbol we find that in ancient cultures it was sometimes considered incestuous for not only family members to have a sexual relationship but also for members of the same tribe or clan. While it doesn’t necessarily take the curse away from the act it may not be as taboo as incest within immediate family. It may be that it caused unpleasant dynamics within the power structure of the tribal community which then forced Smyrna to leave the tribe and wander searching.

There may have been a cult around the myrrh tree. A tribe which tended to and traded in Myrrh to which Smyrna was drawn and in that community she was to give birth to Adonis.

I’m reminded of how soulful I feel when I’m in nature. How nature can speak to those deeper places of connection within me. A feeling of coming home. I imagine that Smyrna may have had those same feelings as she may have connected with these people who were the stewards of the Myrrh.

This is obviously a construct of my imagination based on the symbolism contained within the story and the concepts you construct around the myth may or will be different to mine. And this will be absolutely perfect for you and what you’re needing in the present moment.

Resources:

For more on the power of the Heart see HeartMath

Incest: Rape Crisis Online Encyclopaedia

Greek Myth: GML

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I am going through a lot of personal chaos at present. A couple of days prior to shifting house I was on my mountain bike when a van pulled in front of me. I’m not sure whether my attention was elsewhere or whether he’d suddenly veered but in braking suddenly I was cartwheeled over the handlebars. The van driver came to see if I was alright and one of the women I work with also saw the accident and was concerned. I seemed to feel ok and any pain I was experiencing I imagined to be normal considering what had just happened. I went to work and got through the day. Biking home was a bit of a stretch but I managed it. Went to work the following day and that was ok too. The time I was experiencing the most pain was when I was in bed and shifting my position. On the Saturday I went to the clinic and after a consultation and xray the news was a broken rib and a small puncture in my lung.

Shifting house is acknowledged as one of the most stressful situations we can find ourselves in and yet the last couple of times we have shifted it has been almost stress free. A sense of detachment helps and just doing it. Having done it several times over the last few years it is accepted by my psyche and I’m not having to create a new thought pattern around it.

What has been chaotic has been the shifting of the telephone service. We had cable service at the previous house and were told that the house we were moving to was also in a cable area. When the guy came round to hook us up he discovered that they had cable on the other side of the road and there was an engineer’s report required before they could consider hooking us up. That was two weeks ago. I’ve been exploring other options and have got another service provider for the phone. Still negotiating on internet. I’ve noticed myself getting frustrated as I’ve talked to the company on the phone and not being given the different options that I am aware the company provides to the point where I want to talk to someone in the flesh and not some faceless voice on the other end of the phone.

Greek mythology opens with the story of Chaos. Chaos arose from Mist. And from Chaos, Nyx (Night), Erebus (the darkness of the Underworld), Tartarus (the place of punishment in the underworld and also the source of all waters), Gaia (Mother Earth), and finally Eros (Love).

I find this particular myth fascinating as it points to ways of coping when I’m in chaos. Night is the place of dreams and sleep. Both of these are essential when dealing with chaos. To ensure I’m well rested and to become aware of not only my night dreams but to maintain my focus on the dream or purpose I have for my life.

Erebus reminds me of the gifts of the underworld. By allowing the darkness of the experience I’m able to fully appreciate the coming of the light. And wealth is associated with the underworld through the earth being home to precious stones and metals.

Tartarus indicates the ways that I can be depressed when I’m in that chaotic space. How I beat up on myself. It also prompts me to allow full expression of the emotions in the experience. To allow the anger to be anger, sorrow to be sorrow; and then to let them go once they’ve been manifested and acknowledged.

Gaia invites me to ground myself and to also to let the beauty of nature touch me, to stop and smell the roses when chaos bites.

And beauty leads me to love and allowing Eros to connect me to my community however that is experienced in my world. We need not suffer alone and need to let ourselves be held by family or community. Being honest about our feelings will help as we go through personal Chaos.

The saying, “And this too shall pass” is comforting as I sit with what is happening.

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