• Tag Archives freedom
  • Sacred Sorrow: The Sacred Wound Part Four

    A wise old proverb says, “God comes to see us without bell;” that is, as there is no screen or ceiling between our heads and the infinite heavens, so there is no bar or wall in the soul, where man, the effect, ceases, and God, the cause, begins. The walls are taken away. We lie open on one side to the deeps of spiritual nature, to the attributes of God. Justice we see and know, Love, Freedom, Power. These natures no man ever got above, but they tower over us and most in the moment when our interests tempt us to wound them.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson.

    What if our higher selves were – at every moment seeking the most potent expression of our existence? What if it was asking us to create the reality that was in the best interests of not only humans but all the beings that inhabit Planet Earth? I know I have been procrastinating as I consider this post and what meaning there might be behind it. Procrastinating? I’m not so sure now. Every time I come back to work on this I look at it and seem to be blocked. There’s just something about it that won’t allow me to move forward with it. I had hoped to expand on the reference to the enneagram I left at the end of Part Two of these series of posts. I made a start and yet each time I came back to it I’d look at it and it’d look back at me and there’d be nothing going on. Uninspired – I was blocked.

    The enneagram is full of complexity, follows many nuances of character. I doubt whether I would have done it justice within one post and I certainly don’t have the depth of understanding that would enable me to talk intelligently and fluently over another series of posts. The enneagram is one of many great tools to use if you are seeking understanding about yourself and your motivations. I gained some insights into myself through reading and maybe if I’d dedicated myself to it I may have found a path to enlightenment. I don’t know if I have some sort of spiritual attention deficit or whether I’m looking for a simpler path, but I found myself leaving that behind and seeking other ways. I’m not sure I felt it at the time but now it seems life is complex enough without following someone else’s ideas about finding enlightenment. I did the reading, talked about what I found, discovered as I said in the earlier post that I sat at point five on the enneagram, and wasn’t sure I liked being pigeon-holed. I guess being “the Thinker” I find it easy to get lost in ideas and the seeking of wisdom in books, while all the time it waits for me to get out there to physically embrace life and find my own wisdom through experience.

    As I sit here, dealing another hand of Mah-jong, I’m visited by a spider. I seem particularly sensitive to its path across my hand. And I flick it off. Hardly exemplary behaviour seeing as I favour the Buddhist philosophy of doing no harm to any living thing.

    The story of Robert the Bruce and the spider springs to mind. Robert sought the answer to whether he should continue fighting the English. What am I seeking the answer to as I follow this trail through the Sacred Wound and should I continue? Am I clutching at straws? Seems the Spider thinks I am on the right track as he has taken his leave of me.

    It seems this post has been slowly coming into focus over several months, since December, in fact. And paradoxically what has now come into focus is mist. While road tripping to Mount Cook with my daughter I was touched by a synchronicity as I listened to the retelling of a Maori myth and heard a piece of native wisdom. It is said that Mt Cook or Aoraki as it called by the Maori is a place of Spiritual Enlightenment and it is hard not to be awe-struck by the grandeur of the place.

    Mt Cook
    Mt Cook

    The first time I visited Aoraki I was blessed with an uninterrupted view of the mountain. This second time the weather seemed against us. From the vantage of the hotel the mountain was covered in mist. Having observed this phenomenon, the tohunga, their spiritual leaders discovered the wisdom for their chiefs of not always being available for the tribe, of having time away. Wisdom also is not in full view. It must be found in our encounters with life.

    We sought a closer view the following day and were rewarded. So it is with enlightenment itself. It is said by some that we are already enlightened we just have to remember it is so. And yet sometimes the face of the mountain, the face of enlightenment is shrouded in mist. It is easy to get lost during those times, to forget we’re always a spark of the divine and then to create trauma for ourselves and others, tearing open the fabric of the soul. This tear may become the sacred wound in its turn opening you or the other to the possibilities of a benevolent soul consciousness.

    The myth I heard told the story of Aoraki and his three brothers, off-spring of the Sky Father – Rakinui and Maori Earth Mother, Papatuanuku. They had set sail voyaging round Papatuanuku when their canoe ran aground on a reef. They climbed on the top side of the canoe, but the wind rose from the south freezing them, turning them to stone. The canoe became the South Island, “Te waka o Aoraki”. Aoraki being the tallest of the brother’s, became Aoraki the mountain, and his three brothers the peaks surrounding him. The rest of the crew became the Southern Alps, the mountain range for which the South Island is famous.

    As I pondered this the words of Emerson came into focus. From an enlightened perspective there are possibly no greater attributes than those he speaks of in that quote – Justice, Love, Freedom and Power. Just as those mountains tower over us so do those values. They’re something to aspire to. In the routine of our lives it is easy to lose sight of these aspirations. I guess these aspirations are what bring us to study the concepts contained in the enneagram and other systems of spiritual guidance.

    Each of these aspirations lies on a continuum, Justice-Injustice, Love-Fear, Freedom-Slavery, and Power-Impotence.  I feel impotent in the face of what the earthquake has wrought. I had my year mapped out – an exit strategy for my job, a move into something new. All this is on hold for now. This opened up a feeling of slavery to the job I was already in and on-going frustration with the mundane nature of the tasks ahead of me. As I read these words now I’m touched by a sense of injustice. That an earthquake can affect not only the physical, but also the mental and emotional is a testament to the power of nature. And my lot is nothing to what others have endured. It brings me back to gratitude and humility. Is it fear that holds me in place, keeping me safe until I’m ready? Or can I venture something new now, generated from the passion in my soul for transformation.


  • Working with Aspects of the Soul: Freedom

    I definitely felt freer within myself yesterday. I’m forming a new habit through blogging and it feels positive.

    Once completed I easily moved on to another item I felt I needed to explore. That I look to receive some financial support even though it will only be temporary. I filled out the papers even though in some sections I felt resistance to what they were asking. I rang the Work and Income Department of the New Zealand government. They wanted to put me back to the work broker I had consulted with before. I didn’t want to revisit that experience. I took the planning and assessment option.

    I’m not resisting work. I’m open to receive work that comes my way that takes account of my full talents and abilities and is in alignment with my purpose for this lifetime. I’m not going to take the first job that is waved in my face by a bureaucrat.

    Once I’d completed the paperwork I had to collect some data from my current employee at Christchurch’s AMI Stadium to verify my earnings last year. It was also an opportunity to pick up my knives which I’d left there after the previous game I’d worked on. While there the boss gave me a run down on what was coming up for the months of February and March. It seems intense. And it feels right.

    Part of this decision is based on working with a 75 year old chef. Most of the people that he’s worked with over the years have left and I’m getting the feeling that this may be his last season there. I want to be there for that. He has a fifteen year old daughter and feels a duty to work to provide for her.

    I don’t get a sense that he feels free to do what men of his age are doing – enjoying retirement. He’s down to earth, has had many experiences in his lifetime, he keeps in touch with a lot of the people that have worked alongside him, and mostly has a humorous way about him. He knows what he wants to do and does it, he’s always ready to show the young ones how to do a particular task if they’re struggling and are open to be taught. There are times when he’s unsure about something and allows himself to seek clarification. He’s a shining example of what it means to be human and privilege to work with him. Thank you Jimmy.

    When I got home I connected with the temping agency I signed up with to check on work availability. I was beginning to think it was a little weird that when I was painting I was receiving invitations to work and then once painting was over the notifications stopped. If as a Creative Mythologer I am aware that the world is always a reflection of my dominant thoughts what was with that? I have no aversion to work. I am choosing to put myself out there to work and I am choosing to commit to my blog that others may find a path to their transformation.

    Don’t you hate when you look at a word that seems right and when you check its wrong and sometimes it just looks silly. That’s how it was when I began looking to see if I spelled commitment right. I had two t’s before and was sure it was right. What might that be saying around my belief of commitment.

    Making a choice and being committed to that choice creates freedom. Freedom that comes from the acknowledgment of commitment. Of bringing all of who we are to the banquet that is life. In making commitment we allow ourselves to truly be with whatever it is we are committing to. Commitment to truth is liberating. To follow what is true in the face of what seem to be overwhelming odds. To imprison ourselves to being true to our Self is the paradoxical path to freedom.

    I was feeling imprisoned by the challenges and resistances I was facing and yet as I faced and embraced the resistances that were begging me to honour them I enabled myself to feel freer. The day became clearer and my disposition lighter.

    I received a wonderful email which touched me from a friend. I honoured the promise I’d made to myself to begin the article I was planning. It was started and the day closed out with a sense of peace in my heart. Life is Good


  • Living in Soul: Aspects – Part Three

    A deep calm devoid of emotional disturbance distinguishes the disciple who is focused in “a mind held steady in the light”. The surface of his life may be in a state of violent flux. I spite of all he stands firm, poised in soul consciousness and the depths of his life lie undisturbed. This is not insensitivity – it is intensity of feeling transmuted in focused understanding.

    I know the state of violent flux. I stand in it at this point. I spoke in the previous post of my financial condition. There is an inner knowing within I need to make a change in my life and what is change but flux. The infrequency of employment weighs heavy at this time but I know this is only temporary. I sit here composing my post. The sun is blazing away in the sky at 7.30 pm and there is stillness as I write. Birdsong is gentle yet persistent. They’re speaking to each other and to me. Plants need water and I’ll wait for the intensity of the sun to drop before I slake their thirst. I feel serene within – my heart does not complain. Serenity touches me most when I’m in nature. It is there at all times if I stop myself to feel it.

    Inner Calm
    Have patience. Endurance is one of the characteristics of the I AM Presence. The I AM Presence is that which is immortal within us. It is always seeking to be acknowledged in our lives…. The attitude and experience of Inner Calm is for all those who persist in their high endeavour, who count all things as nothing unless they achieve the goal and who steer a steady course through circumstances, keeping eyes fixed upon the vision, the ears listening for the voice of the God within that sounds in the silence of the heart; the feet firmly placed on the path that leads to the Portal of Initiation, the hands held out in assistance to the world, and the whole life subordinated to the call of service….. Then all that comes is for the best – sickness, opportunity, success and disappointment, the lack of comprehension on the part of those we love – all is but to be used, and all exists but to be transmuted.

    Patience, endurance. Am I being patient? Am I enduring? Or am I in a place of safety, fearing moving into a life of service. Service I take to mean bringing all of the talents I have acquired on the journey for the good of the community. Living my vision, living my One Decision. Surrendering to both and allowing the magnificence to take me. To be here in this moment in Perfect Poise feeling the exquisiteness of the Beloved Presence.

    Perfect Poise
    The freedom from emotional reaction which enhances mental clarity. I ponder this and what comes to mind is a texture of absolute unity with my vision. A place where I won’t allow myself to be distracted from the Path. A place of no fear. The place of absolute knowing. Not only absolute unity with my vision but an eternal unity, a oneness with life’s perfection.

    The more I ponder Perfect Poise the deeper the subtlety of its effect on being. What would my life be like in a constantly perfectly poised state? Not only is there unity within and without but a sense of infinite opportunity and possibility. It is a place of soul connectedness. A place as it says free from emotional reaction. Open to whatever life requires from you in each moment without attachment to concerns which are all illusory in an abundant universe.

    I begin to see the beauty of perfect poise when I look below at the characteristics of Wisdom and Intuition and see how it provides the space for them to be fully present at all times. It is a wonderful gift.

    I had a conversation with my boss after I finished work the other day regarding my plans for the New Year. In the back of my mind were the concerns of the infrequency of the work at this time of the year and because of that financial pinch I was experiencing. I got home later and started working on the post and looking at Perfect Poise and I saw the conversation could have been very different if I’d been in that poised state.

    The more your soul grips you, the more your mind will awaken, and feeling (in the personal sense) fade out. Feel free, but be sure it is not a freedom demanded because the sense of failure to organise your time and reduce your personality to rhythmic living hurts your pride. The more you take hold of your soul, the more you will learn to use the time as a responsibility. Beware the glamour of freedom.

    Beware the glamour of freedom. Yes. Freedom do what? If the freedom comes not from using all with which you are gifted in service to the greater good, then freedom takes on an emptiness.

    I thought I loved the freedom to have a cup of coffee on the way to and then on the way home from work at a particular couple of cafes. Yes it did feel good to do that – to take time out to and from work, supping great coffee, reading my book, forming relationships with the staff over time, chatting with them, sharing a joke.

    While it had all those good points I realized that a habit had formed during that time bordering on an addiction. Almost a co-dependence that only I was aware of. The same could be said of my working as a chef. That, I feel, is also a form of co-dependence. I said to a colleague earlier this year that it wasn’t actually the cooking that was a possible addiction but rather I was co-dependent on the money I was receiving from it. How insightful that comment was has really hit home as I regard how I’ve been feeling without money making its way regularly into my bank account over the past two or three weeks.

    Bureaucracy likes to label us. It makes their job easy. Its easier to keep a person on the same path rather than in assisting them to change to a fuller expression of their talents and gifts.

    When regular income withered I went to a government department for assistance until such time as it would flourish again. I said to them that I wanted to change paths to encompass the other talents I’ve acquired over the years and it seemed that all they wanted me to do was apply for one of the hospitality positions that they had available. I walked out. There is sometimes no reasoning within bureaucracy. This was another indicator of how free I wasn’t.

    Another benefit of this period of scarce income has been eating less – maybe only one meal a day without any pangs of real hunger. More insight on how we can become habituated to our routines. Having had a client who had fasted for 21 days and in talking with friend who was familiar with the fasting process I am fascinated by how little we may need to live a healthy lifestyle without the rigors of intense physical training. The longest I have fasted for is four days and I was surprised at having only minimal hunger during that time. As my body adapted the process was easy.

    True freedom is in my mind and my heart. If I’m feeling trapped by external circumstances I change my thought processes regarding the trap and take action based on those new thoughts.

    Wisdom deals with the essence of things rather than the things themselves. It is the intuitive grasp of the truth without the reasoning behind it. It is our innate perception allowing us to distinguish between the false and the true, the real and the unreal.

    It is…..The growing capacity of the Thinker to enter increasingly into the mind of the Logos, to realise the true inwardness of the great pageant of the universe, to vision the objective, and to harmonise more and more with the higher measure.

    It is.….The realisation of the Kingdom of God within.

    As I mentioned before wisdom comes from a state of perfect poise. It is a connectedness to the divine in each moment. Wisdom is always with us if we take a moment to merge with our soul presence.

    Wisdom comes with experience. We understand an event by being mindful during its unfolding. Allowing all its textures, sound, physical sensation, taste, sight, smell to create a fullness within. Experience is neither good nor bad it just is. And through our humanness we have the faculties to discover what it is about any event that will assist our evolution to greater expression of ourselves. What is we perceive as pleasurable is indicative of our higher path. What we perceive as disagreeable can lead us to the places within we needed to work on.


    Intuition is the energy which carries revelation of divine purpose and brings with its appearance three qualities:

    Illumination – the “Light of the Ages” – recognition through experience of the complete identification with the Universal Mind.

    Understanding – an increased ability to love all beings and yet at the same time preserve personality detachment.

    Love – the synthetic, inclusive grasp of the life and needs of all beings in which it is the high prerogative of a divine Son of God to operate. It sees no distinction, even when it appreciates need, and it produces in one who loves as a soul immediate identification with that which is loved.

    ……Thoughts of revealing potency for the helping of many may drop into the mind. Some new light upon an old truth may penetrate releasing this truth from the hindrances of orthodoxy, thus illuminating consciousness. Become sensitive to Divine Ideas. The hope of the world and the dispelling of illusion lies in the development of intuitives and their conscious training.

    ……Fleeting moments of this high freedom come to all true aspirants at times during their life struggle. They have then an intuitive flash of understanding. The outline of the future and the nature of the truth sweeps momentarily through their consciousness, and life is never again the same.

    Again the perfect poise of being anchored in our soul presence is a prerequisite of intuition. We all have this inherent ability. As with any strength it needs practice. It may manifest as inner vision, inner voice, or inner sentience. It is the sense of absolute knowing, of absolute truth as perceived by your soul essence.

    Intuition may challenge us to leave behind our physical perception and allow soul perception to take hold. It is asking us to evolve not only toward our perfection for this lifetime but also a universal perfection. That we may feel connected to all things.

    Intuition may call us to be more in tune with the elements of the natural world – as all is energy thus we are connected with the rocks, the plants, the animals and life-forms big and small

    Intuition can speak to us through the heart. Centreing and anchoring yourself in the heart if you’re feeling disconnected is one method of returning to the space of perfect poise. Practice being heartful. As heartfulness is firmly fixed as presence you open to more spontaneity and joy in your life.