• Tag Archives Soul
  • Sacred Sorrow: The Sacred Wound Part Four

    A wise old proverb says, “God comes to see us without bell;” that is, as there is no screen or ceiling between our heads and the infinite heavens, so there is no bar or wall in the soul, where man, the effect, ceases, and God, the cause, begins. The walls are taken away. We lie open on one side to the deeps of spiritual nature, to the attributes of God. Justice we see and know, Love, Freedom, Power. These natures no man ever got above, but they tower over us and most in the moment when our interests tempt us to wound them.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson.

    What if our higher selves were – at every moment seeking the most potent expression of our existence? What if it was asking us to create the reality that was in the best interests of not only humans but all the beings that inhabit Planet Earth? I know I have been procrastinating as I consider this post and what meaning there might be behind it. Procrastinating? I’m not so sure now. Every time I come back to work on this I look at it and seem to be blocked. There’s just something about it that won’t allow me to move forward with it. I had hoped to expand on the reference to the enneagram I left at the end of Part Two of these series of posts. I made a start and yet each time I came back to it I’d look at it and it’d look back at me and there’d be nothing going on. Uninspired – I was blocked.

    The enneagram is full of complexity, follows many nuances of character. I doubt whether I would have done it justice within one post and I certainly don’t have the depth of understanding that would enable me to talk intelligently and fluently over another series of posts. The enneagram is one of many great tools to use if you are seeking understanding about yourself and your motivations. I gained some insights into myself through reading and maybe if I’d dedicated myself to it I may have found a path to enlightenment. I don’t know if I have some sort of spiritual attention deficit or whether I’m looking for a simpler path, but I found myself leaving that behind and seeking other ways. I’m not sure I felt it at the time but now it seems life is complex enough without following someone else’s ideas about finding enlightenment. I did the reading, talked about what I found, discovered as I said in the earlier post that I sat at point five on the enneagram, and wasn’t sure I liked being pigeon-holed. I guess being “the Thinker” I find it easy to get lost in ideas and the seeking of wisdom in books, while all the time it waits for me to get out there to physically embrace life and find my own wisdom through experience.

    As I sit here, dealing another hand of Mah-jong, I’m visited by a spider. I seem particularly sensitive to its path across my hand. And I flick it off. Hardly exemplary behaviour seeing as I favour the Buddhist philosophy of doing no harm to any living thing.

    The story of Robert the Bruce and the spider springs to mind. Robert sought the answer to whether he should continue fighting the English. What am I seeking the answer to as I follow this trail through the Sacred Wound and should I continue? Am I clutching at straws? Seems the Spider thinks I am on the right track as he has taken his leave of me.

    It seems this post has been slowly coming into focus over several months, since December, in fact. And paradoxically what has now come into focus is mist. While road tripping to Mount Cook with my daughter I was touched by a synchronicity as I listened to the retelling of a Maori myth and heard a piece of native wisdom. It is said that Mt Cook or Aoraki as it called by the Maori is a place of Spiritual Enlightenment and it is hard not to be awe-struck by the grandeur of the place.

    Mt Cook
    Mt Cook

    The first time I visited Aoraki I was blessed with an uninterrupted view of the mountain. This second time the weather seemed against us. From the vantage of the hotel the mountain was covered in mist. Having observed this phenomenon, the tohunga, their spiritual leaders discovered the wisdom for their chiefs of not always being available for the tribe, of having time away. Wisdom also is not in full view. It must be found in our encounters with life.

    We sought a closer view the following day and were rewarded. So it is with enlightenment itself. It is said by some that we are already enlightened we just have to remember it is so. And yet sometimes the face of the mountain, the face of enlightenment is shrouded in mist. It is easy to get lost during those times, to forget we’re always a spark of the divine and then to create trauma for ourselves and others, tearing open the fabric of the soul. This tear may become the sacred wound in its turn opening you or the other to the possibilities of a benevolent soul consciousness.

    The myth I heard told the story of Aoraki and his three brothers, off-spring of the Sky Father – Rakinui and Maori Earth Mother, Papatuanuku. They had set sail voyaging round Papatuanuku when their canoe ran aground on a reef. They climbed on the top side of the canoe, but the wind rose from the south freezing them, turning them to stone. The canoe became the South Island, “Te waka o Aoraki”. Aoraki being the tallest of the brother’s, became Aoraki the mountain, and his three brothers the peaks surrounding him. The rest of the crew became the Southern Alps, the mountain range for which the South Island is famous.

    As I pondered this the words of Emerson came into focus. From an enlightened perspective there are possibly no greater attributes than those he speaks of in that quote – Justice, Love, Freedom and Power. Just as those mountains tower over us so do those values. They’re something to aspire to. In the routine of our lives it is easy to lose sight of these aspirations. I guess these aspirations are what bring us to study the concepts contained in the enneagram and other systems of spiritual guidance.

    Each of these aspirations lies on a continuum, Justice-Injustice, Love-Fear, Freedom-Slavery, and Power-Impotence.  I feel impotent in the face of what the earthquake has wrought. I had my year mapped out – an exit strategy for my job, a move into something new. All this is on hold for now. This opened up a feeling of slavery to the job I was already in and on-going frustration with the mundane nature of the tasks ahead of me. As I read these words now I’m touched by a sense of injustice. That an earthquake can affect not only the physical, but also the mental and emotional is a testament to the power of nature. And my lot is nothing to what others have endured. It brings me back to gratitude and humility. Is it fear that holds me in place, keeping me safe until I’m ready? Or can I venture something new now, generated from the passion in my soul for transformation.

    Blessings


  • Sacred Sorrow: Sacred Wound Part Two

    Earthquake Damage
    Earthquake Damage Manchester Street

    Back on 4 September at 04.35 we had a 7.1 earthquake here in Christchurch, New Zealand.  Media reports tended to focus on the initial rupture and the rescue attempts that followed. Because of the timing of the quake there was no apparent loss of life. Lucky for a quake of this magnitude. Reports focused on serious injury and damage. Buildings damaged irrevocably were demolished in the aftermath. The effects though have been experienced in other ways. The aftershocks have engendered the fears suffered in the initial rupture and have come back to haunt some of us.

    Initially there was an interest in the liquefaction caused by the quake. International scholars flew into Christchurch to experience this firsthand. It seemed as if this was the very earth bleeding once the rupture opened wounds on the surface.

    This sense brings us to the possibility of seeing the earthquake as an opportunity to re-experience a sacredness in some way. Certainly the wounds are visible in the cracks in the earth, the crumbling of walls, the caving-in of ceilings. If we imagine those cracks, that crumbling, that caving-in as occuring within our psyches what might emerge as we begin to rebuild ourselves? Are there elements of ourselves that may have been neglected as our lives have evolved? Can we imagine incorporating these elements as we begin to rebuild? Doing this innerwork develops contact with our deeper selves as long as we keep in mind that once this is done we need to turn our attention outward to the wider community.

    The quake opens a path to reconnection with each other. Checking on their well-being as each aftershock hits. Accommodating and feeding those displaced by the quake. This turning outward extends a hand to life – that whatever or whoever you give a helping hand to is returning that gift. You see in their eyes the very emotion that is going on inside of you. The giving is in the receiving as the receiving is in the giving.

    If the Sacred Sorrow of the Sacred Wound opens us to this opportunity to fully see ourselves in another’s pain then it also allows us to fully experience a Sacred Care. A care that goes beyond even our love for one another and reaches into a space where we have a love for the places we live, homes, environments, fully connected to all those things that involve us as earth-bound creatures.

    It was a couple of weeks prior to the earthquake that I’d set the intention for these posts and the immediate experience I was rewarded with was a beautiful day. I took my time driving to work stopping to take photos when they caught my eye. It seemed odd to have all this beauty arrayed as further consideration of the Sacred Wound. At the same time I received another gift although at first it didn’t seem so.

    Ambivalence may not seem to be great gift and its affect on my disposition was quite strong. Ambivalence is defined as the simultaneous experiencing of opposite emotions. The word itself is a combination of ‘ambi’ meaning both and ‘valence’ which is associated with the charge a particular ion will hold while combined with another in a molecule. The one cancels the other leaving the observer with the impression that either the molecule or the person has a neutral demeanour. I’m guessing that seeing this neutrality can be frustrating to someone wishing to have attention from this other.

    While reading Thomas Moore’s Writing in the Sand I came across his discussion of self-possession in his chapter on Facing the Demon. He describes Jesus as a self-possessed person having the attributes of ‘allowing life to flow through him’, a ‘conduit for the uncertainties that life offers’, ‘not fighting the life that wants to be in you’ and an ‘even temper’ and ‘cool demeamour’. The latter two could be confused and sensed as ambivalence.

    Later I was told that when considered in the light of the enneagram ambivalence can be thought of as an almost normal state of being. That somehow took the curse off it. And it had my mind ticking over.  According to Don Richard Riso in his Understanding the Ennegram, point five or personality type

    Understanding the Enneagram

    five, which he describes as The Thinker, is ambivalently identified with both parents. If this sense of ambivalence has relevance to the sacred wound maybe the different points of the ennegram can hint at and perhaps tell us more about our sacred wounds. Worth exploring in my next post!

    Blessings.


  • Sacred Sorrow: Powerlessness 1

    “Did you come here for forgiveness,

    Did you come to raise the dead,

    Did you come here to play Jesus

    to the lepers in your head?”

    “One”

    U2

    This morning before I got up I entered into a shamanic meditation, a guided meditation to my medicine place. A place of spiritual solace gifted by the Creator, however you perceive him to be. A place to receive guidance, to connect with teachers and guides

    Over the past months I have neglected this source being too focused on the tasks in front of me as a Catering Manager. Whenever I have entered the space it has only been experienced superficially – no real depth to the communications within. And again this morning this was so. No depth of experience. While two of my guides were present I felt largely ignored by them, something that I have patently been doing to them.

    One of the stimuli for this exploration of Sacred Sorrow was a dream a few weeks ago. In it I had found a piece of land I felt I wanted to buy on a corner in my old neighbourhood. It was an empty section with mounds here and there and hedges in the middle and the surrounds. I went away to source the finance. When I came back there was a bohemian couple living on it. I felt aggrieved that I’d missed out on this property. Not only that but the man came up to me and reached into my pocket and removed a shiny glass ornament, dripping wet, from my pocket with a red and blue symbol embedded in its centre. At the same time a piece of pounamo (jade, greenstone) with crocheted wings flew out of another pocket and alighted on the nearby hedge. I was noticing a sense of deep sadness within me as this unfolded. Underlying the sense these items were being taken away from me was another feeling of them being still present.

    There’s a sense of powerlessness in some of the imagery. I know I’ve not been doing myself any favours in other areas of my life. Allowing my addictions a greater hold – TV, computer games, cigarettes, email, coffee. I feel powerlessness as I consider them and the ways I can break the habits.

    As I ponder the last thought I see that by transferring that sense of powerlessness on to the objects themselves there are ways to divert myself from the sense of addiction. Seeing the objects as powerless diminishes their hold on me and my sense of personal power grows stronger.

    Addictions are certainly manifestations of the “lepers in my head”. The verse in “One” those words come from also include references to forgiveness and raising the dead. By playing Jesus to the lepers in our heads we’re able bring to life that which may lie dead or sleeping within our psyches. Unable to forgive my own faults how can I expect to forgive the faults of others.

    How often in the silence of my mind do the lepers take up residence and I hear myself saying I should do this, I should do that, I should have done this, I should have done that!? It occurs typically when feeling a need to confront my addictive ways. I have heard it described as “the tyranny of shoulds” or “shoulding all over myself”. There is a sense of doing things on a whim when should is mentioned. Powerlessness kicks in when I add have to the mix. I missed an opportunity. Poor me and into a downward spiral!

    And yet “ONE” holds a positive message as well. As I consider it from a point of powerlessness I see the lyrics pointing towards an impotence in relationship not only with another but also with the world itself. Perhaps the “raising of the dead” can be acknowledged as we work with those parts of ourselves that we have left for dead in the aftermath of shoulds. Can I forgive myself for not standing up and being definitive in the path of a storm of shoulds? Can I hear myself saying I AM or I WILL when a “should” is like looking on the face of the Medusa, poisonous serpents flailing about her head, threatening to turn me to stone.

    One love, One blood

    One life, you got to do what you should

    One life with each other

    Sisters, Brothers

    One life, but we’re not the same

    We got to carry each other, carry each other

    Can I find the power within to help myself in turn offering the same to others struggling.

    Resources:

    Going Home to Your Medicine Place Guided Meditation. Academy of Shamanic Studies

    ( http://www.shamanic.ac.nz/index.html )
    Click on Products in left sidebar then navigation bar on page.


  • Sacred Sorrow

    “Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.”
    – Henry David Thoreau

    I have to say that I’ve been in denial about this post for some time. Avoiding it like the plague. Endeavouring to keep my self safe. I should be happy shouldn’t I?? I felt like taking a restraining order out against my psyche and yet Sacred Sorrow seems to be burning a glowing branding iron into my soul. Encounters with people, places, books, movies, myself keep it in the forefront of my mind.

    I first became aware of this concept about ten tears (freudian slip or what?) years ago when I granted it visitation rights to my soul. It manifested as a poem.

    Keeper of the Sacred Sorrow

    From how many lifetimes

    Has this holy melancholy

    Followed me.

    Where is it taking me,

    Past and future

    Wrapped up in the now?

    I make a vow

    To follow my heart.

    Why has this arrived

    To be reconciled?

    Where will it lead?

    What might it heal

    Without knowledge of the wrong

    Being righted?

    As my soul is laid bare

    I gaze upon its naked form

    With love.

    I see it glowing warm

    With the embers of learning.

    Knowing that as I perceive the love within

    So I can perceive the love without

    In the other who is myself.

    A choice is no choice when I live in fear,

    No choice is a choice when I live with care.

    Within that fear I ask a humble why?

    Care creates unclouded sky.

    This occurred a couple of years after I was gripped by a serious grieving process following the ending of a relationship. I was barely functioning for months. Work at the time was all I could manage. At seemingly random moments I’d be stricken, waves of grief washing up on my shore. Tears arriving from my as yet uncharted depths. Emotions welling up. I’d imagined previously that maybe I’d had some deeper connection to life and here was an indication that perhaps there was an element of superficiality to my existence. It pushed me further into areas I hoped would answer the questions this grief had posed to me. Counselling, psychotherapy, shamanic practices, life-coaching.

    So why at this time have I become acutely aware of sorrow and sadness again? I have narrowed it down to three or four ideas that are present for me: powerlessness, man’s inhumanity to man and his fellow beings; the perception that I’m not in a place or job that is nourishing to my soul’s evolution; and possibly the reopening of what is termed the sacred wound. It is not a grieving process but probably indicative of something amiss in my psyche. Am I once again living at the surface of my psyche rather than exploring the depths.

    Seems a good opportunity to explore those concepts in the following posts.

    Blessings


  • Bless you Ellen Burstyn

    A new wind has blown through my reading habits. Prior to finding Ellen Burstyn’s “Lessons in Becoming Myself”. I had been trawling through myriad self help books gaining some insights here and there but without finding much that touched my soul. I seem to find the books that connect me to something deeper on the bargain tables in book stores and it happened again. There was something in me that just had to read this.

    As in “UP” here was a shining example of what I like to think of as Creative Mythology. On the first page there was a reference to Mnemosyne, the Greek Goddess of Memory, mother of the 9 Muses fathered by Zeus. Somehow fitting as each of them seemed to touch her life in some way. Music, dancing, history, love, comedy, tragedy, epic and lyric poetry, and astronomy were all under the governance of the Muses.

    The book worked on different levels. Ellen appears to follow a couple of perspectives, that of her spiritual journey and also her journey as an actress. Both combine to evoke a profound life. Simply read as autobiography it gave wonderful insight into Ellen Burstyn and if I’d been unaware of who she is I might have thought I was reading a novel.

    Ellen models beautifully the way to craft a life, showing the way to follow a dream, of letting go of the riverbank and moving into the flow. Sure, along the river there are rapids where the ride holds peril and Ellen’s story is not short of those. There are stretches where the river slows and the flow is gentle, allowing her be more conscious of how life is unfolding and she recounts these with keen attention.

    I was moved by her struggles with addictions and relationships and how they mirror my own. She spoke of them with detachment observing them from the writers perspective seeing how she was touched by them at that time but now no longer. I’d like to say that for the me that’s still working with them.

    I was enchanted by her life. So much so that I had to read it a second time. I noted passages and pages that spoke to me. The one that is sitting with me now is one I didn’t note. She talks about working with and being mentored by Lee Strasberg of the Actor’s Studio. The feeling I got from the passage was that what is happening in the moment whether part of the performance or not, is perfect not only for the performance but also perhaps for the actor’s life outside of her art. And so it is for all of us being able to perceive the perfection in the present moment. That was brought home for me as I watched the trees from the kitchen window seeing them in the early morning light noticing a nuance I hadn’t seen before and reflecting on Ellen’s perceptiveness as she notices the nuances of characters as her roles evolved.

    In another profound passage she tells of being drawn into learning through doing crossword puzzles and as she discovered new words she was initiated into study. I can imagine there was a sort of a family tree evolving as she was led from a reference in one book to seek out another. Looking always for what might be the ultimate truth, that truth that will allow us to live fully in the present. And being aware, as Sartre said, of a “God-shaped hole in my heart.” Wow.

    Ellen confronts her fears and has epiphanies on her journey. She meets some of the 20th century’s more famous people outside of the acting fraternity and is touched by these encounters.

    Her strong connection with Sufism as a spiritual path because it honours the wisdom of all religious traditions again mirrors my own experience.

    Ellen never shys away from seeking help in understanding herself when confronted by an aspect of her psyche with which she was uncomfortable and thence taking another step to becoming fully alive, fully present.

    The photos from her personal collection show Ellen’s evolving radiant beauty while her roles show the diversity of characters she played.

    The latter stages of her path were spent without companionship. It was a beautiful ending to find her under the auspices of the god Eros.

    Blessings


  • Up: Part One

    Up_Poster
    Click Here for the Trailer

    I am quite fond of the word constellate. It aptly describes the way ideas form as I consider a new post. The inspiration for this came from seeing UP from Pixar. A brilliant example of Creative Mythology.

    Three generations of our family have seen it and thought it was magic. The animated format sat well with my nephews. And both my sister and mother were touched by it.

    The first half of the story tells of two childhood friends, Carl and Ellie growing up, getting married, coping with the discovery she can’t bear children, allowing their life to unfold without manifesting their dream, the wife then contracts an illness and dies. This connects me to my own mortality and my own seemingly frustrated aspirations. The second half follows the husband drawn into an adventure with a young boy who needs to assist an elderly person in some way to enable him to become a fully badged “ Senior Wilderness Explorer”.

    This second act of the story triggered my imagination seeing it as symbolic of a journey to be become fully conscious. While the opening seemed to form the background for the rest of the story as I considered it more deeply I found it held as much symbolism as the second. There was much to stir both thoughts and emotions.

    Thomas Moore describes children in Soul Life his audio retreat as being “raw carriers of soul”. This attribute was borne out by the curiosity of the two children in “UP” and their first meeting in the derelict house. With further thought I see them as the male and female elements of the psyche and the house as being the soul before one begins to sense a connection to the divine. An attitude of curiosity is essential as we walk upon the earth even though it may lead to injury as happened to Carl as he listened to Ellie daring him to be adventurous in this rickety old house. Carl winds up in hospital.

    They are both excited by an explorer, Charles Muntz who is introduced early in the movie having found the bones of a previously undiscovered bird and he then goes off to “Paradise Valley” to search further for a living specimen telling everyone he won’t return until he has one. Consequently he disappears. Carl and Ellie wish to search for this childhood hero, find “Paradise Valley” and the bird. Ellie begins a scrapbook for this adventure.

    They get married and buy the derelict house and begin to do it up. A jar with the words “Paradise Valley” on it sits on the mantle piece and they put all their spare cash in it for the trip. Life intervenes and the money they’re putting aside gets used for other things.

    Doing up the house could be seen as working on our relationship with the sacred and the marriage as the union of the divine male and female.

    Ellie becomes depressed when she finds out she’s infertile. I sensed the tragedy and sadness. And yet in these times of consumerism and materialism perhaps it points towards the rejection of our inner children. The playfulness and wonderment seem to get lost in the striving for the next best thing.

    Life carries on then Ellie gets sick and the doctors are unable to do anything for her. Perhaps we’ve also lost connection to the feminine energies in our strivings. Carl sadly lays Ellie to rest and seems lost without her, taking on the aura of a grumpy old man. Until one day there’s a knock on the door…..


  • Working with Qualities of Soul: Other

    This concept of otherness didn’t seem to be present yesterday. One idea I was pondering was needing to honour this blogging process at the end of the day rather than the beginning. The idea that I’m spending half the day working on the blog of the previous day shortens the time being able to experience the intention of the current day.

    This may require being more conscious of and then journaling my dreams.  Dreams haven’t been embedding themselves in my awareness lately. The ones that are the most vivid I tend to remember. Then there are the smaller dreams that make a sort of cameo performance – I remember them in the morning but have forgotten them by the end of the day. I read somewhere that dreams are the psyche’s way of working with what is unresolved within us. I guess the vivid dreams are the more interesting things not resolved while the ‘cameo’ dreams are perhaps less interesting. Both can be equally important to the unfolding of the soul journey.

    Having said that I do remember a dream from early this morning. I encountered a man, a friend I worked with over 15 years ago. As well as being a chef he also had a great mind too and could quote Shakespeare and many other poets. He was a example for me that though a chef and really focused in the physical, work wise my soul could also be further nurtured through other arts as well. I hadn’t been in contact with him for a few years though I was aware that he had Parkinson’s disease. In early January I was informed that he had passed away late last year a shell of his former self through his struggle with the disease. I experienced him in my dream as being younger than I remember him. Vibrant, brilliant, gentle, smiling. Still with that beard that he seemed to have forever though I only knew him for a few years.

    Beards seem to have become a thread in my life. In the face of the dislike of beards from family and friends I have persisted with my beard. I shave it right back when it begins to look unruly and let it grow right back again. I tell people I’ve just become lazy. Who knows it may be more than that. I know I’m fascinated by the Greek God Oceanus who is depicted with a beautiful beard. I encountered him when I took a shamanic journey, a guided interactive meditation, to meet my daimon. I felt his gentle and playful nature.

    At times thought to be the origin of all things, this is the god of the backward-flowing river Ocean, which bounds the earth and from which all rivers flow and every sea, and all the springs and wells.

    Oceanus
    Oceanus

    I’m fascinated by the description of the backward-flowing river. Is it about always returning to our source? Acknowledging that at times the soul journey requires a backward step? Is it about feeling the energy of Earth flowing upwards through our bodies, after all Gaia was the mother of Oceanus and so intimately connected to him.

    He always seems to have a troubled, yet gentle air about him in images. That gentle quality is indicated by his refusing to enter the conspiracy of his siblings to destroy his father Uranus. There is compassion in his nature. I feel that gentle but troubledness within myself.

    I mentioned the daimon in The Soul Part 2 in conjunction with this sense of otherness. The deities of any of the pantheons, Greek, Roman, Asiatic, Norse, Celtic are all originally nature deities or have evolved from them. It is when I take time to be in nature and away from my urban existence that I feel the sense of this other that is also me. This other seems totally at peace with himself.

    Thomas Moore mentions something similar in his audio retreat Soul Life. He recounts a story by Mircea Eliade that when he experienced this “otherness that was also himself” there was a sense of profound happiness.

    Moore also mentions W.B. Yeats who felt he’d be fencing with this other back and forth, back and forth, neither one seeming to gain ascendancy. For me that begs the question – Is there a need for any ascendancy or is it the honouring of the process that is unfolding that finally allows this other to be at peace within the psyche?

    I return to not having this feeling of this otherness about me. I’m not sure whether that means that all is right with my world. Am I exactly where I need to be without needing my soul consciousness to fence with me or needing to inform my innerself that I’m essentially happy.

    I noticed when I was at work that there was a difference to the atmosphere of the place. Some of the staff there the previous day weren’t present. The sense of finding my feet was less and a sense of urgency had faded.  I still felt nervous and though there was less assistance at service time I managed ok, finishing earlier than I had on Saturday.

    I enjoyed connecting with these new people and to feel the energy of their personalities. It takes me back to the uniqueness of each person’s experience and how they contact the world. To see how they relate to each other, to listen to the banter that unfolds among them gives a sense that they’re enjoying what they’re doing and being together.

    Blessings

    Resources:

    Thomas Moore
    Soul Life:How to Nourish and Deepen your Everyday World. Available here
    Thomas Moore’s site:Care of the Soul

    Greek Myth: Oceanus


  • Working with Qualities of the Soul: Individual

    My apologies, I had intended to have this post on the site yesterday morning. I have had my daughter visiting and we’d made plans for yesterday so I put this on the backburner.

    I’m always interested in what might be going on for me from a soul perspective when I notice a song running a continuous loop in my head or the words for a song. The words that were running – I feel so uninspired – are from the song Sway by one of our beautiful Kiwi singers, Bic Runga.

    Sorry little sidetrack here: I just love doing this. I went to find lyrics for the song.  While re-connecting with the words I found this neat widget that you can put in your sidebar that scrolls through the lyrics of whatever song you’re inspired by. Its from MetroLyrics. The heart may not appear to be in keeping visually with the overall tone of the blog. It is representative, though, of the underlying message. The Path with Heart. The heart is the seat of the Soul in our bodies.

    Anyway part of me was feeling uninspired considering the challenge facing me. And I was enjoying having my daughter with me though our time would only be a few days. I let her know the challenge I’m facing at the moment without letting it affect the specialness of her presence. I’ve seen what I can be like in the past when I’ve been in similar headspaces. I allowed myself to be with all of it without withdrawing.

    As I consider lyrics I find myself directing those lyrics inward to my soul or divine self instead of turning them outwards to an external person or event. The following are those lyrics from Sway that speak to that place – the place in me that wants to know and be connected to the divine.

    Say you’ll Stay
    Don’t come and go
    Like you do
    Sway my way
    Yeah I need to know
    All about you
    Its all because of you


    As I do this sometimes I connect to something deep within. A chord is struck within my soul and I feel touched by something greater than myself. I’m not sure what you call it, God, Source, Higher Self, Spirit, Essence, Buddha, the Divine, Love, Life. Whatever you name it is a part of you and a part of all that you experience.

    With this essence that is a part of us all and connects us with all manifestations of life what is the need of an individuality to our Soul? Why can we not just be like everybody else?

    Because it is within the infinite manifestation of variety that The Divine is able to understand each nuance of what it means to be a spiritual being having a physical experience. This is the fascination of life.

    What makes you unique? How are you experiencing life in a way that is different to those around you? I’ll bet we all know someone who we consider eccentric – that isn’t following norm – who isn’t conforming to our own imagining of how life should be. And that may be a key – our own imagining of how life should be.

    If in our imagination our life should be a particular way that should creates an attachment and as we become attached we either stop being in the flow of life or are attaching ourselves to someone or something with whom we imagine we want to flow through life with. And yet within that we can still find our individuality our uniqueness.

    Being with the challenge has been eccentric behaviour for me. I have seen that I’m not like the rest of my family, that I won’t allow myself to be treated like the sheep that New Zealand is famous for, mustered off to the first position the government finds for me. I also get lots of email calling me to follow this system or that to make lots of money and yet I find that a hollow representation of what we are here for.

    I believe we need to find ways of creating a nurturing world wherein each person on Planet Earth has the opportunity to experience themselves as a representation of the Divine Energy, to celebrate their individuality, to feel passionate about who they are and what they’re doing, to gratefully share it all without thought of what’s in it for me.

    Who are you without what you do? Who are you without what you have? Who are when you allow yourself to be?

    Blessings



  • Living in Soul: Aspects – Part Two

    Aspects of the Soul

    Sharing, Loneliness, Neutrality, Impersonality, Detachment

    This is week two of the process. Like last week I’ll be posting as I form a daily intention based on the each of these five aspects.

    Sharing
    The characteristic of sharing is a principle which covers all realms; the physical (food, shelter, goods); the mental (information, learning) and the spiritual (things that nurture our soul, beliefs around the sacred, ideas that fill us with enthusiasm for life). Whatever we possess can be shared. And when shared graciously will nuture all souls that have been touched by the act. Sharing is the synthesis of giving and taking it touches both parties. It increases the power of that which is shared. If one has discovered what they imagine to be some sort of elixir, something with life enhancing properties why would one not want to share it. The act of keeping it for himself and holding tightly onto it would have him withering and eventually dying.

    Loneliness
    The following is in snippets from The Soul The Quality of Life.
    Bailey’s words better illuminate loneliness from a spiritual perspective. The understanding for me was more meaningful and I didn’t want to dilute the power of her words. The first comes from the chapter “Relationships of the Soul” the second from “Characteristics of the Soul”.

    (a) One of the primary conditions that a disciple has to cultivate, in order to sense the Plan and be used by the Master, is solitude. In solitude the rose of the soul flourishes; in solitude the divine self can speak; in solitude the faculties and the graces of the higher self can take root and blossom in the personality. In solitude also the Master can approach and impress upon the quiescent soul the knowledge that he seeks to impart, the lesson that must be learnt, the method and plan for work that the disciple must grasp. In solitude the sound is heard. The Great Ones have to work through human instruments, and the Plan and the vision are much handicapped by failure on the part of these instruments.

    (b) …..Loneliness comes when the disciple steps out of a life of physical plane concentration and finds himself in the midway place between the world of outer affairs and the inner world of meaning…..from the tangible world to which he is accustomed must, he knows, be superseded by the intangible world of values and new responsibilities…… He is breaking loose from the mass consciousness with which he has been merged, but has not yet found his group, into which he will eventually be consciously absorbed….. Be not afraid of loneliness. The soul that cannot stand alone has naught to give…… In this solitude there is no morbidness, there is no harsh withdrawing and there is no aspect of separateness. There is only the place where the disciple stands, detached and unafraid and in that place of utter quiet the Master comes and solitude is not.

    Neutrality
    Neutrality is one of the suggestions I found useful in the HeartMath Solution. The authors propose that when you’re unable to find anything to appreciate about a situation imagine feeling neutral toward it. The Bailey material referred to this as Spiritual Indifference. It involves not getting caught up or attached to feelings or moods that stimulate pain, distress and also excitement within our bodies. While our bodies are our vehicles for this earthly experience and need to be nurtured, constant negative feelings can be unhealthy. From a soul perspective, while their shade provides a richness in the colour of life, the negative needs to recognized as a pointer without getting caught up in or attached to it.

    Confusing mood, feeling and sensation within our bodies as spiritual reality can lead first to illusion and then addiction. Though addiction prevents the soul from making itself known in our lives it can be a signpost to soul consciousness.

    I think about addiction as habitual behaviour embedded in our personality. We may be conscious of it but it has become a trap. A trap in that we imagine it is needed so that our lives may continue as normal. Addictions to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes can be life-threatening and there are also what Judith Wright calls soft addictions which may include moodiness, surfing the internet, gossip, cellphone usage, television, overeating, procrastination.

    When I catch myself sinking into a soft addiction adopting an attitude of neutrality is useful to ease my way out of it. By introducing a more positive attitude, focusing on purpose or vision for my life, the addiction gradually loses it hold.

    Impersonality
    When a man is beginning to live as a soul, and when his consciousness has shifted away from the world of illusion, then he can be useful……. The true picture of the world’s need releases you from your own ambition and sets you free to work with no thought of self or of spiritual happiness and with no desire for any self appointed task; with no longing for glittering promises of future success and with no demanding ache for the tender touch and contact with those greater in consciousness than ourselves……. You need to learn the lessons of accepting guidance from your own soul and of learning to work with harmony and impersonality on the physical plane with the group or groups to which your destiny impels you.

    The idea that comes to mind as I read this is presence. During my Holistic Life Coach training one of the catch phrases we heard often was…. Your presence is enough. To be present with the client without wanting to fix them, without feeling you need to do something. Within that presence I am connected to soul and if I hear my heart calling that is the time to offer myself to the process.

    The other idea that comes to mind is from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements. One of the Agreements he encourages readers to cultivate is taking nothing personally. Each of us is doing the best with what life has gifted them. If we are experiencing something challenging it is about our own internal processes rather what anyone may be doing or saying to us.

    Detachment
    One of the processes of meditation is that of witnessing. Becoming the watcher of what is happening within as I endeavour to quiet the mind. I become a trainspotter following the train of thought, though not being attached to it. The carriages of thought can contain a cargo of emotion and this observational attitude is useful so I don’t get hooked into the feelings thought may generate.

    When I bring this witness with me into everyday life I don’t get caught up in other people’s stuff. I am able to allow their process to unfold and just be with them in that and as before let presence show the way.

    By standing serene there is no more waste motion, no more mistaken moves, and no more false interpretations, no wandering down the bypaths of daily living, no seeing others through distorted and prejudiced vision and – above all – no more misuse of force.

    Resources:

    D.K. through Alice A. Bailey:
    The Soul The Quality of Life

    Doc Childre & Howard Martin:
    The HeartMath Solution

    Judith Wright:
    There Must Be More Than This:Finding More Life, Love and Meaning by Overcoming Your Soft Addictions