CreativeMythologyCreating Personal Mythology

I’ve been procrastinating again. Well I imagined I was until I had a rather significant discussion while out to dinner the other night. We were talking about personality and I mentioned that my conversational skills had been described at times as being like squeezing blood out of a stone. Yes I do tend to hold myself back. And I brought up my blog. This is how I am putting myself out into the world, how my stone is beginning to ooze blood. The talk turned to excavation and then to archaeology.

“Emotional Archaeology” was bandied about as we talked about where the blog is going. I wasn’t sure if that captured the tone correctly. Was it deep enough? The word “psychotropic” came to mind. On reacquainting myself with the word I discovered it meant “acting on the mind” usually referring to drugs. My thought around psychotropic was in the  deeper sense of “psyche” meaning soul, and “–tropic” meaning turned toward, or having an affinity with. So the blog in a poetic sense felt like it had a “Psychotropic Archaeology” an excavation of my deeper self to develop this sense of a Creative Mythology

A few days prior to this enlightening discussion the thought had come to mind that at its conception a blog is a blank slate yet to be written and each post the same. I choose a subject and the words that will populate the screen and speak to the readers.

A new born is a blank slate when they enter the world. Initially what is written in their psyche is chosen by the environment they inhabit. They take their original cues from their mothers, then fathers, siblings if they have them, and so on until a day comes when they have to select or reject the cues they’ve picked up during their formative years. Their experiences may dictate to them that this or that cue is not working in a certain situation leaving them to wonder if this is really how life is meant to be for them.

And so collectively with Humanity. In its primitive state what might have been the cues taken that evolved into the wars of today? War seems a huge manifestation of an inhumanity wrought in the tribal communities of prehistory. My ponderings coincided with a visit to Wellington to see my children. And the following image struck me as I walked along the waterfront….

What is it that anchors our inhumanity in our collective consciousness?? Can we blame the media for placing images in front us ad nauseam or is there something deeper going on? An opportunity for individual or collective compassion and action perhaps? An opportunity for us to wake up to a collective and personal need to change.  First our inner selves and then the outer manifestation of this inhumanity which seems embedded in our very nature.

As always I rely on my day to day experiences to fuel the blogging fire. What can I excavate from the previous weeks events to furnish the room of understanding. And the inspiration (or is it desperation) to complete this post keeps coming. Only yesterday I received this in my inbox….

I see desperation in the images accompanying the script. And sorrow that the way the world works leads to this.

I have also been trawling through the M*A*S*H series on DVD. Hardly an episode goes by without a tear being shed. There is no dearth of material for an examination of Sacred Sorrow. A couple of episodes stand out…

Dear Sigmund: Sidney Freedman their on-call psychiatrist is spending time at the Unit during which he is composing a letter to Sigmund Freud. The plotline that touched on this inhumanity theme involved a pilot shot down over Korea. His war has consisted of flying missions from Japan dropping his deadly payload and then returning to Japan to spend his off-duty hours with his wife. During his stay at the 4077 he comes face to face with the horror he has wrought in the form of a injured child whose village has been bombed from the Air. A defining moment for him. In a parallel plotline there is a prankster at work in the camp offering some lighter moments. While funny there is something faintly dark about using someone to be the butt of another’s pranks.

Preventative Medicine: A sobering episode where Hawkeye contrives an affliction for a Colonel who has an overwhelming casualty rate, whose achievements as a commander are more important to him than the welfare of his men. Hawkeye has him come down with symptoms akin to an infected appendix which he then removes. The resulting recuperation time means the colonel will be taken off line duty indefinitely.

With his penchant for bringing the ironic to life I often find the voice of Hawkeye in my head….

While we’re on the DVD trail I picked up The Cove a couple of weeks ago not knowing that it would have relevance to the post. The blurb mentioning elite team, covert mission had piqued my interest a while back and it seemed the time to hire it. As the story unfolded the issue of dolphin exploitation and secret slaughter was in the foreground.

Then I received an email showing photos taken in the Faroe Islands where the slaughter of the calderon dolphin was openly acknowledged and was described elsewhere as a rite of passage for young adults males. The images are sickening. Another sorrow of our inhumanity.

And last but definitely not least is a sense that what we create in our lives is related to our predominant thoughts and feelings. Focusing on this theme brought that home for me. The ease of which all this arrived at the threshold of my awareness and then battered down the door seeking sanctuary. So when I turn inwardly and consider further – what are the ways I am wreaking inhumanity on myself and why…..

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This concept of otherness didn’t seem to be present yesterday. One idea I was pondering was needing to honour this blogging process at the end of the day rather than the beginning. The idea that I’m spending half the day working on the blog of the previous day shortens the time being able to experience the intention of the current day.

This may require being more conscious of and then journaling my dreams.  Dreams haven’t been embedding themselves in my awareness lately. The ones that are the most vivid I tend to remember. Then there are the smaller dreams that make a sort of cameo performance – I remember them in the morning but have forgotten them by the end of the day. I read somewhere that dreams are the psyche’s way of working with what is unresolved within us. I guess the vivid dreams are the more interesting things not resolved while the ‘cameo’ dreams are perhaps less interesting. Both can be equally important to the unfolding of the soul journey.

Having said that I do remember a dream from early this morning. I encountered a man, a friend I worked with over 15 years ago. As well as being a chef he also had a great mind too and could quote Shakespeare and many other poets. He was a example for me that though a chef and really focused in the physical, work wise my soul could also be further nurtured through other arts as well. I hadn’t been in contact with him for a few years though I was aware that he had Parkinson’s disease. In early January I was informed that he had passed away late last year a shell of his former self through his struggle with the disease. I experienced him in my dream as being younger than I remember him. Vibrant, brilliant, gentle, smiling. Still with that beard that he seemed to have forever though I only knew him for a few years.

Beards seem to have become a thread in my life. In the face of the dislike of beards from family and friends I have persisted with my beard. I shave it right back when it begins to look unruly and let it grow right back again. I tell people I’ve just become lazy. Who knows it may be more than that. I know I’m fascinated by the Greek God Oceanus who is depicted with a beautiful beard. I encountered him when I took a shamanic journey, a guided interactive meditation, to meet my daimon. I felt his gentle and playful nature.

At times thought to be the origin of all things, this is the god of the backward-flowing river Ocean, which bounds the earth and from which all rivers flow and every sea, and all the springs and wells.

Oceanus

I’m fascinated by the description of the backward-flowing river. Is it about always returning to our source? Acknowledging that at times the soul journey requires a backward step? Is it about feeling the energy of Earth flowing upwards through our bodies, after all Gaia was the mother of Oceanus and so intimately connected to him.

He always seems to have a troubled, yet gentle air about him in images. That gentle quality is indicated by his refusing to enter the conspiracy of his siblings to destroy his father Uranus. There is compassion in his nature. I feel that gentle but troubledness within myself.

I mentioned the daimon in The Soul Part 2 in conjunction with this sense of otherness. The deities of any of the pantheons, Greek, Roman, Asiatic, Norse, Celtic are all originally nature deities or have evolved from them. It is when I take time to be in nature and away from my urban existence that I feel the sense of this other that is also me. This other seems totally at peace with himself.

Thomas Moore mentions something similar in his audio retreat Soul Life. He recounts a story by Mircea Eliade that when he experienced this “otherness that was also himself” there was a sense of profound happiness.

Moore also mentions W.B. Yeats who felt he’d be fencing with this other back and forth, back and forth, neither one seeming to gain ascendancy. For me that begs the question – Is there a need for any ascendancy or is it the honouring of the process that is unfolding that finally allows this other to be at peace within the psyche?

I return to not having this feeling of this otherness about me. I’m not sure whether that means that all is right with my world. Am I exactly where I need to be without needing my soul consciousness to fence with me or needing to inform my innerself that I’m essentially happy.

I noticed when I was at work that there was a difference to the atmosphere of the place. Some of the staff there the previous day weren’t present. The sense of finding my feet was less and a sense of urgency had faded.  I still felt nervous and though there was less assistance at service time I managed ok, finishing earlier than I had on Saturday.

I enjoyed connecting with these new people and to feel the energy of their personalities. It takes me back to the uniqueness of each person’s experience and how they contact the world. To see how they relate to each other, to listen to the banter that unfolds among them gives a sense that they’re enjoying what they’re doing and being together.

Blessings

Resources:

Thomas Moore
Soul Life:How to Nourish and Deepen your Everyday World. Available here
Thomas Moore’s site:Care of the Soul

Greek Myth: Oceanus

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In solitude the rose of the soul flourishes; in solitude the divine self can speak; in solitude the faculties and the graces of the higher self can take root and blossom in the personality. Alice A. Bailey, The Soul The Quality of Life.

From a weekend of sharing where I sometimes felt alone within the challenges I was facing, to a day of loneliness where I never felt alone or lonely. The sense over the weekend was that on the one hand here I was struggling for monetary income and on the other were my brothers and brother-in-law all with salaried positions. And I know the comfort that brings, having spent at least 20 years of my early working life with the comfort of a salary.

Yesterday began with the posting to the blog. I connected for a short while with the brother I’m sharing a house with. He was going away for a few days so When I arrived home I’d have the house to myself. Once I’d completed posting I had a little breakfast and raced out the door. I’m painting the house of a friend. She lives by herself and has a sense of care for her house and section. It has a quaint feel about it – As if one is stepping into another world as you enter the gate. I’m working on the higher places. We were on different sides of the house, each alone in our focus on the part we were painting.

I am getting a sense as I write that perhaps Loneliness is the wrong terminology for this particular aspect. Maybe it would be better to call it Aloneness. Maybe not. For me the word Aloneness speaks of either having made a conscious choice to be alone or possibly fate has chosen a path for us that we need to experience in order for our soul’s evolution.

I know that each time I have left a committed relationship I have a greater sense of the variety and beauty that life holds. There are times when I have felt lonely within that and at the same time there is a sense that I am able to fully be with whatever else I’m doing at any moment in my life and not have that little voice come in and say you should be at home now. If I am fully engaged in the moment I am living and loving what I’m doing, I’m flowing, and flowering, I’m letting go and letting God as the saying goes. And in that space I’m alone with the beauty of existence. I may try to share that in words and words may come up short. And another’s experience of that place while the theme is the same.

I felt a connection to the butterfly motif I wrote about in yesterday’s post when I considered loneliness. The caterpillar creates the cocoon around itself. And then begins its metamorphosis over a period of time into butterfly. It must go through this experience alone in order to be transformed. Once the transformation has occurred the butterfly then lays eggs and the cycle continues. Some butterflies lay a single egg while others lay theirs in clusters. I imagine those clusters of eggs create a mass consciousness so I hark back to…He is breaking loose from the mass consciousness with which he has been merged This period of metamorphosis is a lonely experience. And yet in the end there is beauty. It is interesting that the ancient Greek word Psyche is ascribed not only to the Soul but is also their word for butterfly.

Blessings to you all.

It is almost impossible to be lonely these days especially online with a lot of people Twitter ing. I’ve seen people with 10′s of thousands of followers. I’m not sure if they’re doing as a marketing ploy or what, but it is possibly a way to get lost in a mass consciousness. Having said that I am on Twitter following maybe 6 people. I guess discernment is the key and being aware of what you are wishing to create.

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I am going through a lot of personal chaos at present. A couple of days prior to shifting house I was on my mountain bike when a van pulled in front of me. I’m not sure whether my attention was elsewhere or whether he’d suddenly veered but in braking suddenly I was cartwheeled over the handlebars. The van driver came to see if I was alright and one of the women I work with also saw the accident and was concerned. I seemed to feel ok and any pain I was experiencing I imagined to be normal considering what had just happened. I went to work and got through the day. Biking home was a bit of a stretch but I managed it. Went to work the following day and that was ok too. The time I was experiencing the most pain was when I was in bed and shifting my position. On the Saturday I went to the clinic and after a consultation and xray the news was a broken rib and a small puncture in my lung.

Shifting house is acknowledged as one of the most stressful situations we can find ourselves in and yet the last couple of times we have shifted it has been almost stress free. A sense of detachment helps and just doing it. Having done it several times over the last few years it is accepted by my psyche and I’m not having to create a new thought pattern around it.

What has been chaotic has been the shifting of the telephone service. We had cable service at the previous house and were told that the house we were moving to was also in a cable area. When the guy came round to hook us up he discovered that they had cable on the other side of the road and there was an engineer’s report required before they could consider hooking us up. That was two weeks ago. I’ve been exploring other options and have got another service provider for the phone. Still negotiating on internet. I’ve noticed myself getting frustrated as I’ve talked to the company on the phone and not being given the different options that I am aware the company provides to the point where I want to talk to someone in the flesh and not some faceless voice on the other end of the phone.

Greek mythology opens with the story of Chaos. Chaos arose from Mist. And from Chaos, Nyx (Night), Erebus (the darkness of the Underworld), Tartarus (the place of punishment in the underworld and also the source of all waters), Gaia (Mother Earth), and finally Eros (Love).

I find this particular myth fascinating as it points to ways of coping when I’m in chaos. Night is the place of dreams and sleep. Both of these are essential when dealing with chaos. To ensure I’m well rested and to become aware of not only my night dreams but to maintain my focus on the dream or purpose I have for my life.

Erebus reminds me of the gifts of the underworld. By allowing the darkness of the experience I’m able to fully appreciate the coming of the light. And wealth is associated with the underworld through the earth being home to precious stones and metals.

Tartarus indicates the ways that I can be depressed when I’m in that chaotic space. How I beat up on myself. It also prompts me to allow full expression of the emotions in the experience. To allow the anger to be anger, sorrow to be sorrow; and then to let them go once they’ve been manifested and acknowledged.

Gaia invites me to ground myself and to also to let the beauty of nature touch me, to stop and smell the roses when chaos bites.

And beauty leads me to love and allowing Eros to connect me to my community however that is experienced in my world. We need not suffer alone and need to let ourselves be held by family or community. Being honest about our feelings will help as we go through personal Chaos.

The saying, “And this too shall pass” is comforting as I sit with what is happening.

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